for the weekend recap post?
I sure hope so - b/c I am avoiding work so this will be a long post.
~Friday~
I had made plans with New Guy earlier in the week to get together on Friday. We sent about 120812 emails during the day to get things arranged, and at 4:30 he emailed me to say that one of his employees had committed suicide and he was going to be in the office late dealing with that (he is Head of HR). This is very sad, so I told him I completely understood and sent that bullshit line about "let me know if there is anything I can do to help."
I immediately made plans to do dinner with KP at an amazingly cute restaurant (Stella's) and the officemate and The Former Crush invited me to check out a band at Salt Hill later that night.
I come back and New Guy has responded that he might like some company later tonight. I said I had dinner plans at 7 but could probably come by after that. He texted back with "maybe we should do something tomorrow instead?"
Okay, so nothing annoys me more than people being wishy-washy about plans and not providing helpful information towards planning. I emailed him a nice response that was basically like "I don't know what later means to you. It means 9 to me, but maybe it would be helpful to let me know the timeline you envisioned."
He responded with "Well I am home now so you could come by whenever". ARGH! What does that mean? If I come by at midnight will you be awake?
I do dinner with KP, she convinces me not to go over to his place so I call and lie about being too drunk to drive, but I invite him to come out and join us for a bit. He declines (obviously), but then sends me some annoying texts about "how nice it would be if I came by and woke him up later tonight". Fuck that. Conversation over.
Another interesting development for Friday night was my latest run-in with The Persian (you may recall, he ripped my shirt off last Friday). I had emailed him about getting together, he responded to that but didn't respond to the next 2 emails I sent. I saw him at the bar when I got in and went over and said hi and talked to him for about 5 minutes. I left him with his friends and rejoined my people who had moved to basically be standing right next to his friends. Thanks guys. For the rest of the night I was smiling towards him, which he definitely noticed, but he never came over and definitely didn't say bye when he left. Creeper.
Rest of the night went pretty much fine. I went over and struck up a conversation with this really hot guy I saw at a party the other night. He is a little older and was an I-banker in NY for the past 8 years before moving here, so I was definitely interested. We exchanged numbers but I doubt I will hear from him. I was proud of myself for just walking up to a hot guy and starting a conversation though.
Also, as I was walking home some guy turned around and asked if I had just been at Salt Hill. This guy was in his early 30's, very clearly from India, and offered me a ride home. I took it. He told me he was looking for a good wife and I seemed like marriage material. Hilarious. I think he got the point when I kept putting his number into my phone as Gay instead of Jay. I'm priceless.
~Saturday~
I was up until about 3 am Friday night (more on that later) and was awake by 8 am, which sucked. I got up and started working/ cleaning for the party I was hosting/went to the office, but I felt like absolute death. Since last night had not worked out, I had agreed to meet up with New Guy around noon to get lunch (and get laid).
At this point, I should perhaps mention that I was up so late Friday night because I had been feeling increasingly sad about missing Mr. Big, and I stupidly let myself watch videos of him performing which is the absolute worst thing I can do. You will all be proud though - I cried a lot, but I did not contact him. Improvement.
But anyway, coming off of a night where I really missed him, I was really not feeling in the right place for New Guy. More and more I have been realizing how insanely different and incompatible we are. I suggested that we go to a bar or watch a movie (instead of staying in like we always do), and he responded that he didn't really feel like "being surrounded by a million people". Really dude, it's Hanover? I also just don't know how to reconcile that he needs to be asleep by 10 pm every night. I usually hit the gym at 9:30 pm - and he's already in bed? So overall, the sober-introverted-early bird doesn't work with the drunken-
extroverted-night owl.
I went over, he made me lunch, I was clearly off but could easily explain that as being exhausted and a little hungover. We had sex...and I'm not really sure how to describe it. His stamina was much better, we are much more in sync, and overall the physical experience was really good, but I just felt dirty and wrong because I don't really like him as a person. Like, the weirdest/worst feeling in the world is when some guy is staring at you the whole time you are having sex and all you want to do is avoid his eye contact and focus on something else.
I know that I need to end this thing soon, I promise I am working on it - I just hate that as regular sex has happened my academic abilities have also increased so much. Stupid Seinfeld rule being correct.
After the sex, New Guy drove me back into town, I finished cleaning my place and then went to help set-up for the Semi-Formal dance that I was on the planning committee for. Set-up took forever and I basically got home with 30 minutes to shower, change, do make-up, and figure out how to curl my hair (which, btw, I never figured out despite multiple youtube videos).
The day was frantic, but from the time KP arrived at 7 pm until I went to bed at 2 am I had an absolute blast. It was one of those great nights where you are drinking and having fun, and you know that you could go out and mingle with new people but are just so happy dancing and drinking with your friends that you don't even care. The night finished with late night junk food with my first year friends, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
I did have an interesting run in with The Persian at the dance. I saw him walk in and turned away, he came over to talk for a bit. I asked him (a) why he booked from the bar last night (he said he went home b/c he is dealing with his past relationship drama blah blah blah) and (b) if he ever got the 2 emails I sent him (he said he didn't and would check his spam filter). He didn't come talk to me or dance with me for the rest of the night, and I am pretty sure I saw him back with his ex-girlfriend at the end. Honestly, I'm totally fine with this. Guy is a bit off.
I spent the entire day Sunday working (from 11 am until 11 pm with a break to go grocery shopping and shower). I'm hoping to keep up the good academic momentum and really show people that I deserve to be here.
~2 Final Topics of Discussion~
(1) Virgins. Hanover brings out the weirdest, most backwards people I have ever encountered in my whole life. Not only have I never met so many people who are virgins, I've never met so many of them who are caricatures. It turns out that one of the extremely religious virgins I know is waiting until marriage for sex but is fine with having anal sex. What?!?! Tell me that's a joke. On the opposite side of the spectrum, one of my friends in a 3 year relationship is not having sex with her boyfriend and the two of them have never even discussed it. How does having sex never come up? How do you sleep in a bed next to someone, naked, and not be like "oh gee, you know what we haven't tried yet?". I'm so baffled.
(2) Ex's. People in Hanover are apparently so desperate for relationships that there is absolutely nothing you can do that would prevent someone from taking you back. This was the weirdest weekend of people reuniting with ex's after ridiculous things. Now granted, I am admitting to sleeping with someone that I don't even like, but you better believe that anyone who cheated on me and dumped me for someone else would never be allowed back into my good graces. What is wrong with people.
Alright, enough ranting, back to reading.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sigh...the dreaded 4th roomate
In true housing office fashion, we received an email today along the lines of "we walked through your place and saw clothes drying in the 4th bedroom - move them by Monday or we will throw them out."
I think that was their sugary sweet way of telling us that we would be getting a new roomate in March.
Joy!
Unfortunately, I have just been holding my level of annoyance in check with the current roomates because I tell myself (1) they are better than before and (2) there's so much space for 3 of us that it doesn't matter.
I see things getting a bit darker here in the future, which I suppose is good news for all of you readers out there.
Also, who moves in March 1st? The next term doesn't start until March 29th, and the current term end next week.
I think that was their sugary sweet way of telling us that we would be getting a new roomate in March.
Joy!
Unfortunately, I have just been holding my level of annoyance in check with the current roomates because I tell myself (1) they are better than before and (2) there's so much space for 3 of us that it doesn't matter.
I see things getting a bit darker here in the future, which I suppose is good news for all of you readers out there.
Also, who moves in March 1st? The next term doesn't start until March 29th, and the current term end next week.
Monday, February 22, 2010
The Big Scary Meeting Rundown
I was right to be nervous.
I came in and we talked about nothing for a bit (random graduate students I have never heard of who were visiting a faculty member who doesn't really work here anymore..riveting).
Then it began. I presented my case that I had heard his feedback, was making the changes, and was still wanting to work with him (though I did discuss working on the other project with the 2nd adviser).
He bristled....he was not convinced.
I continued pleading my case that this really was the area of research I wanted to work on, and I started talking a lot more about the very specific information I had picked up doing 12 hours of literature searching on Saturday and Sunday and how I was ready to apply it.
I could see he was starting to turn.
We talked about how I was probably overloading my plate for the spring term, but then we started talking about specifics of how to fix the studies I had been working on/trying to work on.
It was crazy - we were having an intelligent discussion, we were both admitting faults like adults, we were talking about very specific information that I could use to get my studies up and running.
Success!
I think the real change came when I said something like "after looking through the literature I finally saw this giant gap in the research that you had been pointing out with a flashlight every week and I had not been getting". Can't hurt to stroke the ego right? Also, my adviser had heard from a 3rd party that there was some tension between myself and the senior graduate student in his lab, and I explained that there was no tension (we watch Zombie movies together!) but that he just doesn't seem to have the time/desire to be helpful. That seemed to go over well and quell the last of concerns the adviser had.
I am meeting with 2nd adviser's research assistant tomorrow (because 2nd adviser moved back our meeting another week..which is fairly typical for her) to find out more about the project. I think I will try to evaluate how much I am biting off for the next term after I see what is involved.
Current Gameplan:
1) I am revamping the behavioral study I piloted this term and I am ready to do it correctly. All the things I did wrong have been ironed out finally, and I really understand why I am doing what I am doing. I will be running this next term.
2) I finally got the guidance I needed to get the stimulus set for my first fMRI study going. I am hoping to get the stimuli picked out this week, and have Korean Brendan help me do the design matrix in the next few weeks so I could actually have something to show for myself.
3) Get a better feel for what the 2nd adviser project would entail and evaluate if I will have the time.
Finally, I made sure to email back the faculty I met last week and thank them and let them know how helpful I had found all their advice.
On a final important note, I went to the gym tonight and watched the 5'2" 101 pound asian girl next to me run on the treadmill in sneakers, skinny jeans, exercise shorts over her jeans, a regular bra, and a lacy tank top.
....it's good to have the mental energy back to notice these ridiculous things around me :)
I came in and we talked about nothing for a bit (random graduate students I have never heard of who were visiting a faculty member who doesn't really work here anymore..riveting).
Then it began. I presented my case that I had heard his feedback, was making the changes, and was still wanting to work with him (though I did discuss working on the other project with the 2nd adviser).
He bristled....he was not convinced.
I continued pleading my case that this really was the area of research I wanted to work on, and I started talking a lot more about the very specific information I had picked up doing 12 hours of literature searching on Saturday and Sunday and how I was ready to apply it.
I could see he was starting to turn.
We talked about how I was probably overloading my plate for the spring term, but then we started talking about specifics of how to fix the studies I had been working on/trying to work on.
It was crazy - we were having an intelligent discussion, we were both admitting faults like adults, we were talking about very specific information that I could use to get my studies up and running.
Success!
I think the real change came when I said something like "after looking through the literature I finally saw this giant gap in the research that you had been pointing out with a flashlight every week and I had not been getting". Can't hurt to stroke the ego right? Also, my adviser had heard from a 3rd party that there was some tension between myself and the senior graduate student in his lab, and I explained that there was no tension (we watch Zombie movies together!) but that he just doesn't seem to have the time/desire to be helpful. That seemed to go over well and quell the last of concerns the adviser had.
I am meeting with 2nd adviser's research assistant tomorrow (because 2nd adviser moved back our meeting another week..which is fairly typical for her) to find out more about the project. I think I will try to evaluate how much I am biting off for the next term after I see what is involved.
Current Gameplan:
1) I am revamping the behavioral study I piloted this term and I am ready to do it correctly. All the things I did wrong have been ironed out finally, and I really understand why I am doing what I am doing. I will be running this next term.
2) I finally got the guidance I needed to get the stimulus set for my first fMRI study going. I am hoping to get the stimuli picked out this week, and have Korean Brendan help me do the design matrix in the next few weeks so I could actually have something to show for myself.
3) Get a better feel for what the 2nd adviser project would entail and evaluate if I will have the time.
Finally, I made sure to email back the faculty I met last week and thank them and let them know how helpful I had found all their advice.
On a final important note, I went to the gym tonight and watched the 5'2" 101 pound asian girl next to me run on the treadmill in sneakers, skinny jeans, exercise shorts over her jeans, a regular bra, and a lacy tank top.
....it's good to have the mental energy back to notice these ridiculous things around me :)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
I got a shout-out via Craigslist!
I was browsing Craigslist and found an ad in M4W that looked shockingly like mine. At the bottom it read:
"Also, thanks to a fellow Dartmouth grad for the post format, that person had posted before me on the website, I was surprised that no one uses craigslist here. "
...I feel like a genuine celebrity ;)
"Also, thanks to a fellow Dartmouth grad for the post format, that person had posted before me on the website, I was surprised that no one uses craigslist here. "
...I feel like a genuine celebrity ;)
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wow
It's 2:30 am and I'm posting, so obviously I am still a touch tipsy. Tonight got real.
Evening started off super innocent - I invited Awkward Jesus over to come have dinner and just chat. We split a 6 pack and just chilled and laughed and it was really nice.
Then we went to meet my friend at a bar where the entire Psych department was. It was literally like we walked in, I saw my friend, and then PBS came out of the woodwork.
So, I agreed to go out to a party with my friend because she needed me to wingwoman for her. She is super attractive and really cool (despite being Canadian), but she is really awkward around guys and was having her friend set her up and needed me.
Before we went out to this party, we stopped at The Hispanic's apartment to pre-game and stuff. I came in and saw this really cute Persian guy who I had hung out with when I met The Hispanic. When I initially met both of them, I thought his friend was a lot cuter, but he had a girlfriend/drama to deal with so I steered clear and pursued The Hispanic.
The Persian (yup, that's the name) and I hung out on the couch, sort of watching everyone act silly, and just chatting. We all went to the party and we started dancing...flash forward and he's eating me out in the basement of this house party. I love it.
We ditch everyone else and head back to his place and had a really nice night (though I was pissed, he literally tore the shirt off of me...it was just a t-shirt..not hard to get out of at all..and I can't get another one of those shirts!). Overall, it was a great time, though I worry about the whore-ish-ness of fucking multiple guys in a 24 hour period. Also, I worry about my ego when I have 2 guy lusting over me...oh wait..that's perfectly fantastic ;) (says the whore).
Oh yeah, New Guy told me he would call me when he got out of a hockey game tonight and, although he texted me plenty, he never told me he was done and wanted to see me. Bummer.
Signing off.....
Evening started off super innocent - I invited Awkward Jesus over to come have dinner and just chat. We split a 6 pack and just chilled and laughed and it was really nice.
Then we went to meet my friend at a bar where the entire Psych department was. It was literally like we walked in, I saw my friend, and then PBS came out of the woodwork.
So, I agreed to go out to a party with my friend because she needed me to wingwoman for her. She is super attractive and really cool (despite being Canadian), but she is really awkward around guys and was having her friend set her up and needed me.
Before we went out to this party, we stopped at The Hispanic's apartment to pre-game and stuff. I came in and saw this really cute Persian guy who I had hung out with when I met The Hispanic. When I initially met both of them, I thought his friend was a lot cuter, but he had a girlfriend/drama to deal with so I steered clear and pursued The Hispanic.
The Persian (yup, that's the name) and I hung out on the couch, sort of watching everyone act silly, and just chatting. We all went to the party and we started dancing...flash forward and he's eating me out in the basement of this house party. I love it.
We ditch everyone else and head back to his place and had a really nice night (though I was pissed, he literally tore the shirt off of me...it was just a t-shirt..not hard to get out of at all..and I can't get another one of those shirts!). Overall, it was a great time, though I worry about the whore-ish-ness of fucking multiple guys in a 24 hour period. Also, I worry about my ego when I have 2 guy lusting over me...oh wait..that's perfectly fantastic ;) (says the whore).
Oh yeah, New Guy told me he would call me when he got out of a hockey game tonight and, although he texted me plenty, he never told me he was done and wanted to see me. Bummer.
Signing off.....
Date # 3 with New Guy
Date # 3 went as well as date # 2. End of post.
Ha, kidding. So I went back to his place and he cooked for me again and made this ridiculously good pesto, tomato, cheese, rosemary chicken sausage, and onion pizza miracle. So good.
We watched about 22 minutes of the movie I brought over.
First point of business: what was up with New Guy last week? He explained it to me as general feeling of depression based on two factors. First, as head of HR, it is his job to fire people. Last week he had to fire 3 people, and apparently he handled one of them poorly and the person basically flipped their shit (by handled poorly he just didn't quite do it the standard invite them to a meeting, let them explain what's going on, then fire them type deal). He had told me hates firing people, and I can see how telling someone they don't have a job during this shitty economic times could drag you down, especially if you felt like you made their experience worse. Second, he said something about being in CT with his family made the whole 36 and divorced thing really poignant. Having had some experience with other men who were dealing with the mid-life crisis, I can certainly understand how that would be the kind of thing you want to brood about alone and not with some young 25 year old.
Second point of business: what is going on with New Guy in bed? I really like how comfortable we are together sexually. We were starting to get hot and heavy last night and the 16 year old in the apartment next to him was leaning up against their shared wall and talking on the phone with her friend - and I just started giggling and couldn't stop, and it was totally fine and fun and relaxed. Overall we seem to have pretty good chemistry, but there are just some weird things he does that I'm not sure I can get past. For instance, whenever I am going down on him or riding him he says things like "well done", "good show", "nice work" in a quiet little voice. I have told him that his is really creepy and sounds like what you write on a 2nd graders paper along with their gold stars. He keeps doing it. It just feels....wrong.
Also, why must he keep touching my face or trying to put his fingers in my mouth when we are having sex. Just...just stop that.
Finally, I know this is unfair, but his stamina is...not what I would expect from a 36 year old. Aren't we past this point of guys having to think about baseball and taxes to keep from blowing? Does that ever change? Perhaps as he gets more accustomed to me this problem will fix itself, but it's kind of frustrating right now. Sure we go a second round after a while, but this bitch has needs!
Third point of business: where do we go from here? I'm feeling conflicted about if I want to keep this thing going. I really like having someone I can laugh and joke around with in the post-sex afterglow, and he's a great cook, and very attractive, and very funny. That being said, our lifestyles are just so totally different that I'm not sure it could even work much longer in the short term. He is not really the type that goes out and drinks, which is fine, but that is definitely a part of my life. Also, he is the type that gets up at 5:30 am every morning and starts falling asleep around 10 pm - that is just never going to be a schedule that works for me. Even last night we were dancing around the idea of me staying over but in my mind I'm like "dude, he has a completely open apartment and will absolutely wake you up at 5:30 am if you stay over." You all know that I can't afford to have more things causing me to not sleep in this world.
Oh also, New Guy either doesn't listen or has a terrible memory which I find sort of annoying. Like, why should I even tell you a story if you are going to forget it 2 weeks later when we talk next? Personal pet peeve, but something that irks me.
I am starting to see the wheels turning in his head ("wow, she's only 25, but maybe that could be okay...."), so I feel like I need to start figuring things out sooner than later.
.....but not before a few more rounds in the bedroom....
Ha, kidding. So I went back to his place and he cooked for me again and made this ridiculously good pesto, tomato, cheese, rosemary chicken sausage, and onion pizza miracle. So good.
We watched about 22 minutes of the movie I brought over.
First point of business: what was up with New Guy last week? He explained it to me as general feeling of depression based on two factors. First, as head of HR, it is his job to fire people. Last week he had to fire 3 people, and apparently he handled one of them poorly and the person basically flipped their shit (by handled poorly he just didn't quite do it the standard invite them to a meeting, let them explain what's going on, then fire them type deal). He had told me hates firing people, and I can see how telling someone they don't have a job during this shitty economic times could drag you down, especially if you felt like you made their experience worse. Second, he said something about being in CT with his family made the whole 36 and divorced thing really poignant. Having had some experience with other men who were dealing with the mid-life crisis, I can certainly understand how that would be the kind of thing you want to brood about alone and not with some young 25 year old.
Second point of business: what is going on with New Guy in bed? I really like how comfortable we are together sexually. We were starting to get hot and heavy last night and the 16 year old in the apartment next to him was leaning up against their shared wall and talking on the phone with her friend - and I just started giggling and couldn't stop, and it was totally fine and fun and relaxed. Overall we seem to have pretty good chemistry, but there are just some weird things he does that I'm not sure I can get past. For instance, whenever I am going down on him or riding him he says things like "well done", "good show", "nice work" in a quiet little voice. I have told him that his is really creepy and sounds like what you write on a 2nd graders paper along with their gold stars. He keeps doing it. It just feels....wrong.
Also, why must he keep touching my face or trying to put his fingers in my mouth when we are having sex. Just...just stop that.
Finally, I know this is unfair, but his stamina is...not what I would expect from a 36 year old. Aren't we past this point of guys having to think about baseball and taxes to keep from blowing? Does that ever change? Perhaps as he gets more accustomed to me this problem will fix itself, but it's kind of frustrating right now. Sure we go a second round after a while, but this bitch has needs!
Third point of business: where do we go from here? I'm feeling conflicted about if I want to keep this thing going. I really like having someone I can laugh and joke around with in the post-sex afterglow, and he's a great cook, and very attractive, and very funny. That being said, our lifestyles are just so totally different that I'm not sure it could even work much longer in the short term. He is not really the type that goes out and drinks, which is fine, but that is definitely a part of my life. Also, he is the type that gets up at 5:30 am every morning and starts falling asleep around 10 pm - that is just never going to be a schedule that works for me. Even last night we were dancing around the idea of me staying over but in my mind I'm like "dude, he has a completely open apartment and will absolutely wake you up at 5:30 am if you stay over." You all know that I can't afford to have more things causing me to not sleep in this world.
Oh also, New Guy either doesn't listen or has a terrible memory which I find sort of annoying. Like, why should I even tell you a story if you are going to forget it 2 weeks later when we talk next? Personal pet peeve, but something that irks me.
I am starting to see the wheels turning in his head ("wow, she's only 25, but maybe that could be okay...."), so I feel like I need to start figuring things out sooner than later.
.....but not before a few more rounds in the bedroom....
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wednesday Meeting Rundown
I am in such a good mood! I had my last potential new adviser meeting this morning and it went so well. I felt totally comfortable, we had a real discussion about ideas and next steps in research, and it just felt really positive and right.
Here is my game plan for moving forward (I think I am typing this out more for me than you readers):
1) New Adviser - I am going to start working on a really neat gambling task paradigm with this new potential adviser. It's very much her type of research (how do we resolve the contradiction of a disappointing win) but also very much my interests (what is the impact of the resolution of ambiguity on future risk-seeking or risk-aversive behavior). This project will get me comfortable collecting, analyzing, and interpreting brain imaging data, and I can work with this person and her very cool graduate student while I am still asking the stupid questions and have no idea what I am doing. It is also a benefit to this person because she will get work out of me in her name, so I will never feel like I am wasting her time.
2)Old Adviser - I am going to take all the feedback I have received from my adviser and other faculty and really try to implement changes in how I act and how I do research. I think I never let myself accept that the academic transition to graduate school was as difficult, if not more so, than the social transition. I think I have renewed focus and a better understanding of what I need to do.
So, I am going to try to work things out with old adviser with the idea that I am also going to work very closely with new adviser as I get more comfortable. I am also going to try to have a really open conversation about the barriers I am having with old adviser, and maybe try to implement some changes in how we interact (i.e. I will repeat back everything he says to me to make sure we are both on the same page about things). I am also going to scrap my old projects and try to start fresh on just 1 new project to see if we can make things work in this relationship.
At the end of the day, the best advice I got about working with other faculty is to keep an open mind and let relationships develop as they will. So, I am thinking that by summer I may have a better idea if I can stick it out or will need to make a full adviser switch.
Either way, it feels good to have some plan starting to formulate. I still need to have my meeting with old adviser on Monday to make sure this all works for him, but I can't see him not being amenable to me taking out my stupid questions on someone else and then coming back a functional graduate student.
Here is my game plan for moving forward (I think I am typing this out more for me than you readers):
1) New Adviser - I am going to start working on a really neat gambling task paradigm with this new potential adviser. It's very much her type of research (how do we resolve the contradiction of a disappointing win) but also very much my interests (what is the impact of the resolution of ambiguity on future risk-seeking or risk-aversive behavior). This project will get me comfortable collecting, analyzing, and interpreting brain imaging data, and I can work with this person and her very cool graduate student while I am still asking the stupid questions and have no idea what I am doing. It is also a benefit to this person because she will get work out of me in her name, so I will never feel like I am wasting her time.
2)Old Adviser - I am going to take all the feedback I have received from my adviser and other faculty and really try to implement changes in how I act and how I do research. I think I never let myself accept that the academic transition to graduate school was as difficult, if not more so, than the social transition. I think I have renewed focus and a better understanding of what I need to do.
So, I am going to try to work things out with old adviser with the idea that I am also going to work very closely with new adviser as I get more comfortable. I am also going to try to have a really open conversation about the barriers I am having with old adviser, and maybe try to implement some changes in how we interact (i.e. I will repeat back everything he says to me to make sure we are both on the same page about things). I am also going to scrap my old projects and try to start fresh on just 1 new project to see if we can make things work in this relationship.
At the end of the day, the best advice I got about working with other faculty is to keep an open mind and let relationships develop as they will. So, I am thinking that by summer I may have a better idea if I can stick it out or will need to make a full adviser switch.
Either way, it feels good to have some plan starting to formulate. I still need to have my meeting with old adviser on Monday to make sure this all works for him, but I can't see him not being amenable to me taking out my stupid questions on someone else and then coming back a functional graduate student.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Dark Days in Hanover (swirling pool of rejection)
So, some of you may have noticed a longer than normal absence in posting, I suppose I will try to explain what is going on here now.
Last Wednesday my adviser and I had our standard weekly meeting about data, and 1/2 ways through he asked me "how do you think your graduate experience is going so far?" Ruh roh!
We had a very painful hour talk about how we are not on the same page, I am not meeting his expectations, I am coming off as "aggressively over-confidant", and that maybe it would be best if I started looking around for a new lab to join.
On the plus side, this was definitely a talk that needed to happen. As you all know, I was not happy with things and it was definitely important for me to see just how differently we have been experiencing the same stuff (I am literally hearing yes when he thinks he is clearly telling me no).
On the negative side, what I gathered from this meeting was that I would need to find another lab or leave Hanover (after I was just starting to adjust!). This meeting also happened a few days after offers went out to prospective graduate students - so spots that may have been opened in labs were now full. Awesome timing.
I spent the next day(s) setting up meetings, seeking out advice, eating fatty foods, and staring out the window.
Meetings:
1) The graduate student chair - met with him on Friday and he had some really good advice that made me feel like I was not crazy. My adviser makes me feel like I should have all the answers and no exactly how I want to study things; the grad adviser had a much nicer view of taking someone with the skills and interest and helping them develop along their path. I needed that.
2) Lab switch option 1 meeting - I also had this meeting on Friday since it was the least likely option and the faculty member I feel most comfortable with joking around and being honest. He is not a good match because he doesn't do neuroimaging and is also pretty senior in his career and head of the department (meaning he has 0 time to do anything). He was really comforting, gave me some good advice about how to proceed, and made it clear that he is definitely available to meet with me about ideas but doesn't think it would benefit me for him to be my new adviser. He also told me that my adviser had gone around the department that day and told everyone how smart and capable I was, which was nice to hear that he was trying to help me and wasn't being a jerk.
3) Lab switch option 2 meeting - I met with this faculty member on Monday morning and it was.....ok? This lab was also not a perfect fit for me research-wise, but this person was my biggest advocate for getting accepted, and has been described as the parent-figure of the department who loves helping people in tough situations. Our meeting went okay, and I think worst case he would take me if it came to that. However, he said it would be very difficult for me to make the switch and that most of his research that I was interested in was done through collaborations with other schools (meaning the machinery was not in the place to do similar research here, though it would not be impossible to put in place).
The more important information that came out of this meeting was that (1) my adviser was actually not kicking me out of the lab and was expecting me to stay? This was totally contrary to everything I was hearing from him during our meeting, but who knows? (2) This person pointed out a lot of my weaknesses that I was not aware of, but did so in a constructive way so I might actually be able to figure out how to fix the problems. Overall, this meetings gave me a lot to think about.
(3) My final alternative lab meeting will be Wednesday morning and I am meeting with the person whose personality and research interests are the most in-line with my own. Will update everyone.
(4) It seems that the next meeting with my adviser will be Monday sometime. I will need to figure out my plan of action before than.
So overall, I am not really sure what I am going to do. Hearing from other faculty has given me some good perspective on changes I could make to be a better graduate student, and maybe having that difficult conversation with my adviser could be the impetus we need to move forward and start again in a relationship that works. That being said, there are personality issues with my adviser that I am not sure I can ever overcome, and more and more I am seeing that we completely misread every word, action and intention that the other one has. Can that be overcome?
I have my game plan for what I need to do between now and then, I am making sure to keep up on my other work and try to do a good job with everything, and hopefully something will work out. It has also been nice to see how much support I have from the other graduate students (and faculty), though I will need to be more careful in the future about who I am running my mouth off to and how will that information get convoluted before it gets back to the faculty (real newsflash - I have a big mouth - I know you are all shocked).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was going to do a separate post for this but I think I will just do a dashed line and make this super-long.
"What is going on with New Guy?" - many of you have asked, so here is the best update I can provide.
As you might recall, after New Guy went to CT for the weekend with his daughter he sort of changed and was basically blowing me off. We had a date set for last Thursday and he emailed me to cancel on Wed (which was really an awesome cherry on top of that sweet day) and made no mention of reschedule.
I sort of pouted about this development for the weekend, and decided to send him an email on Monday asking "what happened?". I thought it was a fair question because we both seemed to have had a great time during our last encounter, and at this point I was really starting to wonder if I was just not reading ANYONE's intentions correctly anymore.
So, I emailed New Guy and he basically sent me an email saying "things have been really bad for me this past week, and I remember you saying that you didn't want a man who needed to cry on your shoulder, so I was avoiding you until I got over what is going on."
I sent back an email clarifying what I mean by that statement (something like, I can't deal with someone who does nothing but cry on my shoulder and has no emotional support to offer me in return), but I also told him I didn't think it was the most adult way to handle a situation. We sent a few more emails, smoothed things over, and I think we are going to grab a drink of dinner on Thursday.
I debated if this was something I wanted to keep going based on his weird behavior, but I really could use some emotional support right now. Even a hug from a guy is hard to come by in Hanover, because I don't have any male friends who I could just say "can I have a giant bear hug for 5 minutes" without them thinking it was weird or reading too much into it. So, I am just going to let myself lean on New Guy a bit this week and maybe once things settle down for me I can evaluate if this is something worth keeping up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not too much else to report. I spent Saturday/Sunday in Boston with Kirstin and Chris and it was great to see them, get away from Hanover, and drink heavily. I also got to have a nice bus ride up and back with KP, which was good to have someone to talk about my plans for the week and what I was thinking.
Also, because I thought this was amazing - Kirstin and I met up with Chris and his friend (who has a girlfriend) on Sunday afternoon. Chris handed Kirstin and Valentine's day bag with chocolate and a cute little card. His friend hands me a similar bag with a card that read as follows "Hi (Name), Chris made me get you a gift as well so you wouldn't feel bad about Kirstin getting something. Happy Valentine's Day!".
This was, hands down, the best present I have ever received for Valentine's Day...and I'm still laughing about it.
Last Wednesday my adviser and I had our standard weekly meeting about data, and 1/2 ways through he asked me "how do you think your graduate experience is going so far?" Ruh roh!
We had a very painful hour talk about how we are not on the same page, I am not meeting his expectations, I am coming off as "aggressively over-confidant", and that maybe it would be best if I started looking around for a new lab to join.
On the plus side, this was definitely a talk that needed to happen. As you all know, I was not happy with things and it was definitely important for me to see just how differently we have been experiencing the same stuff (I am literally hearing yes when he thinks he is clearly telling me no).
On the negative side, what I gathered from this meeting was that I would need to find another lab or leave Hanover (after I was just starting to adjust!). This meeting also happened a few days after offers went out to prospective graduate students - so spots that may have been opened in labs were now full. Awesome timing.
I spent the next day(s) setting up meetings, seeking out advice, eating fatty foods, and staring out the window.
Meetings:
1) The graduate student chair - met with him on Friday and he had some really good advice that made me feel like I was not crazy. My adviser makes me feel like I should have all the answers and no exactly how I want to study things; the grad adviser had a much nicer view of taking someone with the skills and interest and helping them develop along their path. I needed that.
2) Lab switch option 1 meeting - I also had this meeting on Friday since it was the least likely option and the faculty member I feel most comfortable with joking around and being honest. He is not a good match because he doesn't do neuroimaging and is also pretty senior in his career and head of the department (meaning he has 0 time to do anything). He was really comforting, gave me some good advice about how to proceed, and made it clear that he is definitely available to meet with me about ideas but doesn't think it would benefit me for him to be my new adviser. He also told me that my adviser had gone around the department that day and told everyone how smart and capable I was, which was nice to hear that he was trying to help me and wasn't being a jerk.
3) Lab switch option 2 meeting - I met with this faculty member on Monday morning and it was.....ok? This lab was also not a perfect fit for me research-wise, but this person was my biggest advocate for getting accepted, and has been described as the parent-figure of the department who loves helping people in tough situations. Our meeting went okay, and I think worst case he would take me if it came to that. However, he said it would be very difficult for me to make the switch and that most of his research that I was interested in was done through collaborations with other schools (meaning the machinery was not in the place to do similar research here, though it would not be impossible to put in place).
The more important information that came out of this meeting was that (1) my adviser was actually not kicking me out of the lab and was expecting me to stay? This was totally contrary to everything I was hearing from him during our meeting, but who knows? (2) This person pointed out a lot of my weaknesses that I was not aware of, but did so in a constructive way so I might actually be able to figure out how to fix the problems. Overall, this meetings gave me a lot to think about.
(3) My final alternative lab meeting will be Wednesday morning and I am meeting with the person whose personality and research interests are the most in-line with my own. Will update everyone.
(4) It seems that the next meeting with my adviser will be Monday sometime. I will need to figure out my plan of action before than.
So overall, I am not really sure what I am going to do. Hearing from other faculty has given me some good perspective on changes I could make to be a better graduate student, and maybe having that difficult conversation with my adviser could be the impetus we need to move forward and start again in a relationship that works. That being said, there are personality issues with my adviser that I am not sure I can ever overcome, and more and more I am seeing that we completely misread every word, action and intention that the other one has. Can that be overcome?
I have my game plan for what I need to do between now and then, I am making sure to keep up on my other work and try to do a good job with everything, and hopefully something will work out. It has also been nice to see how much support I have from the other graduate students (and faculty), though I will need to be more careful in the future about who I am running my mouth off to and how will that information get convoluted before it gets back to the faculty (real newsflash - I have a big mouth - I know you are all shocked).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was going to do a separate post for this but I think I will just do a dashed line and make this super-long.
"What is going on with New Guy?" - many of you have asked, so here is the best update I can provide.
As you might recall, after New Guy went to CT for the weekend with his daughter he sort of changed and was basically blowing me off. We had a date set for last Thursday and he emailed me to cancel on Wed (which was really an awesome cherry on top of that sweet day) and made no mention of reschedule.
I sort of pouted about this development for the weekend, and decided to send him an email on Monday asking "what happened?". I thought it was a fair question because we both seemed to have had a great time during our last encounter, and at this point I was really starting to wonder if I was just not reading ANYONE's intentions correctly anymore.
So, I emailed New Guy and he basically sent me an email saying "things have been really bad for me this past week, and I remember you saying that you didn't want a man who needed to cry on your shoulder, so I was avoiding you until I got over what is going on."
I sent back an email clarifying what I mean by that statement (something like, I can't deal with someone who does nothing but cry on my shoulder and has no emotional support to offer me in return), but I also told him I didn't think it was the most adult way to handle a situation. We sent a few more emails, smoothed things over, and I think we are going to grab a drink of dinner on Thursday.
I debated if this was something I wanted to keep going based on his weird behavior, but I really could use some emotional support right now. Even a hug from a guy is hard to come by in Hanover, because I don't have any male friends who I could just say "can I have a giant bear hug for 5 minutes" without them thinking it was weird or reading too much into it. So, I am just going to let myself lean on New Guy a bit this week and maybe once things settle down for me I can evaluate if this is something worth keeping up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not too much else to report. I spent Saturday/Sunday in Boston with Kirstin and Chris and it was great to see them, get away from Hanover, and drink heavily. I also got to have a nice bus ride up and back with KP, which was good to have someone to talk about my plans for the week and what I was thinking.
Also, because I thought this was amazing - Kirstin and I met up with Chris and his friend (who has a girlfriend) on Sunday afternoon. Chris handed Kirstin and Valentine's day bag with chocolate and a cute little card. His friend hands me a similar bag with a card that read as follows "Hi (Name), Chris made me get you a gift as well so you wouldn't feel bad about Kirstin getting something. Happy Valentine's Day!".
This was, hands down, the best present I have ever received for Valentine's Day...and I'm still laughing about it.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Craigslist Diaries Entry # 2
I haven't kept this up so well, but this email response was so super special I had to share.Here is yet another gem of suitor responses to my Craigslist post.
"I wanted to talk phone, so I wouldn't sound so self absorbed, but if you want to know what I'm all about. I've played guitar for 14 years and it means alot to me. I also just started taking up photography a few months ago. I love taking pictures...It's really my new passion. Right now my favorite lens is in the shop and that hinders things just a little, but I make due with the few others that I've got. I really am in to collecting musical instruments right now, aside from my lens obsession, that is it...I'm trying to get some righteous heads together to write some magic...and make this beautiful thing happen...I mean It's totally possible...
Besides all of that, I work at the co-op commissary in Wilder VT and cook all day-full time...I am just living, really... Would you like to get together? Seriously I can't stand typing my way through a come on and I don't come on really well either...so forgive me, but If you're interested, call me at ###-###-#### and let's get to know eachother a little better"
"I wanted to talk phone, so I wouldn't sound so self absorbed, but if you want to know what I'm all about. I've played guitar for 14 years and it means alot to me. I also just started taking up photography a few months ago. I love taking pictures...It's really my new passion. Right now my favorite lens is in the shop and that hinders things just a little, but I make due with the few others that I've got. I really am in to collecting musical instruments right now, aside from my lens obsession, that is it...I'm trying to get some righteous heads together to write some magic...and make this beautiful thing happen...I mean It's totally possible...
Besides all of that, I work at the co-op commissary in Wilder VT and cook all day-full time...I am just living, really... Would you like to get together? Seriously I can't stand typing my way through a come on and I don't come on really well either...so forgive me, but If you're interested, call me at ###-###-#### and let's get to know eachother a little better"
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Amusing Craigslist Story
So I got an email from this guy and he seemed cool enough (had gone to school in D.C., decently interesting emails, etc), so we sent a few emails back and forth. I sent him some pictures and then he sent me his a bit later.
The guy seemed "ok" looking, but was a little overweight, pretty hairy, and had sort of an awkward smile. I also think he looked 34 but was only 28, which is not a good thing.
I tried to send him a nice enough "I am just not feeling the connection" type email, but he pressed and asked if it was the pictures or the emails.
I believe in honesty, so I said I just wasn't feeling the physical attraction and that is definitely one of the problems with trying to meet someone online. I was very nice about it.
He sent me back the most hilariously predictable email response. Part 1 was how he had lost weight, and they weren't good pictures, and he really needs to update his pictures. In Part 2 he mentioned that "he didn't want to be mean" but I wasn't all that attractive or his type either, but he was still willing to give me a chance if I ever change my mind.
I think that is the funniest email ever. Oh gosh, well now that you have insulted me I am so dying to meet you in person. Thanks for telling me you don't want to be mean though!
Guys are so silly.
The guy seemed "ok" looking, but was a little overweight, pretty hairy, and had sort of an awkward smile. I also think he looked 34 but was only 28, which is not a good thing.
I tried to send him a nice enough "I am just not feeling the connection" type email, but he pressed and asked if it was the pictures or the emails.
I believe in honesty, so I said I just wasn't feeling the physical attraction and that is definitely one of the problems with trying to meet someone online. I was very nice about it.
He sent me back the most hilariously predictable email response. Part 1 was how he had lost weight, and they weren't good pictures, and he really needs to update his pictures. In Part 2 he mentioned that "he didn't want to be mean" but I wasn't all that attractive or his type either, but he was still willing to give me a chance if I ever change my mind.
I think that is the funniest email ever. Oh gosh, well now that you have insulted me I am so dying to meet you in person. Thanks for telling me you don't want to be mean though!
Guys are so silly.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Recruitment Weekend at Dartmouth
So this weekend was a little crazy because it was recruitment weekend here for PBS. Luckily there were budget cuts this year so we had less time demanding events, but it meant activities Friday evening, and being around and available for recruits from 11 am on Saturday until about midnight.
In general it was adorable to be on the other side of recruitment weekend, though there is something awkward about critiquing people for the very qualities you are lacking (this person doesn't have enough of an idea about what they want to research....errr...um...and I do?). Everyone I met was basically cool and would be a fine addition to PBS (especially since the reality of many friends leaving in the next 1 - 1.5 years has become more salient). There were of course a few awkward kids, a few cocky kids, and the token Mormon who confided in me about concerns of finding a proper Mormon wife in Hanover. Adorable.
Another good thing about recruitment weekend was that a lot of the faculty got to see me doing what I do best (interacting with people), and I even got a compliment from my adviser about how helpful I was (which he later turned into an insult, but that is typical).
Because I am an idiot, I decided that going skiing all day Sunday was a good idea. Actually, when I woke up at 7 am I realized I could ski the morning with friends and then do work in the condo/hang out with my folks in the afternoon. They called as we drove up to tell me that the condo was booked after 1 pm. Damn it. So yeah, fun but very cold and not the best idea when I am stressing about being sick and behind on work.
I will also admit that I went skiing so that I could spend more time with Awkward Jesus. Awkward Jesus is another first year who is my friend, is the smartest person I have met in a long time, and I have tapped as a very likely candidate for my future roomate (KP obviously being too good of a friend and too socially related to live with). I told Awkward Jesus that I am working on a powerpoint detailing all the reasons we would be good roomates, but this has made his current roomate get a little possessive (but I will beat him). On a hilarious note - I got to the condo and went to change into a sportbra to go skiing...obviously Awkward Jesus walked in. I thought it was hilarious, he didn't talk to me until we were on the ski lift. I lived with guys for 5 years and never had that happen once, I merely mention being roomates to this kid and we've already had the awkward experience. Good sign?
Oh, and Sunday was also the Superbowl. I am pretty excited to tell all of you that I made the first cut list for this exclusive party (seriously, there was a lot of deliberation based on size-constraints). This party was also amazing for 2 reasons. (1) There was a stadium made of food. Seriously, the walls were tortilla chips and baguette, the field was spinach dip, endzones were queso and salsa, uprights were slim jims, and players were cocktail wieners with olive helmets. Amazing.
(2) The Crush was having his crush over. Well, let me restate. The person I previously named The Crush has since become a good friend, and I have realized I am much happier with it that way. I'll keep the name for him though. Anyway, he has a crush on an undergrad who works in our department and we have nicknamed Psycho - seriously, she takes anorexia to new levels and didn't speak to her mother for 3 months in high school because she had walked in on her changing. Oh also, Psycho has a major thing for The Crush's roomate (my officemate), and The Crush doesn't know. Following? So yeah, I basically went to watch the magic unfold between those two and get a good giggle with KP.
To finish off the stream of consciousness post (OMG I'm too busy with work to write coherently), I will give a little update on New Guy.
So, per usual behavior, the morning after we had sex he sent an email and we emailed throughout the day. I knew he was going to CT for the weekend with his daughter and he would be very busy, but I expected to get an email from him Sunday night or Monday. Nothing came, so I emailed him Monday (today) and got some very brief responses. We are set to see each other again on Thursday, and his behavior is completely normal, it's just a little different from the pattern he had established which makes me question what's going on. I think he is probably just very busy though, so I'm not worried. Well, I am only worried because now that I have had a taste of good sex I will be very bitter (read: crazytown) if I don't get more.
Okay, closing for now with a shout-out to everyone buried in snow in D.C., and now that I am very jealous that I leave D.C. for Hanover and we have no snow on the ground. Curses!
In general it was adorable to be on the other side of recruitment weekend, though there is something awkward about critiquing people for the very qualities you are lacking (this person doesn't have enough of an idea about what they want to research....errr...um...and I do?). Everyone I met was basically cool and would be a fine addition to PBS (especially since the reality of many friends leaving in the next 1 - 1.5 years has become more salient). There were of course a few awkward kids, a few cocky kids, and the token Mormon who confided in me about concerns of finding a proper Mormon wife in Hanover. Adorable.
Another good thing about recruitment weekend was that a lot of the faculty got to see me doing what I do best (interacting with people), and I even got a compliment from my adviser about how helpful I was (which he later turned into an insult, but that is typical).
Because I am an idiot, I decided that going skiing all day Sunday was a good idea. Actually, when I woke up at 7 am I realized I could ski the morning with friends and then do work in the condo/hang out with my folks in the afternoon. They called as we drove up to tell me that the condo was booked after 1 pm. Damn it. So yeah, fun but very cold and not the best idea when I am stressing about being sick and behind on work.
I will also admit that I went skiing so that I could spend more time with Awkward Jesus. Awkward Jesus is another first year who is my friend, is the smartest person I have met in a long time, and I have tapped as a very likely candidate for my future roomate (KP obviously being too good of a friend and too socially related to live with). I told Awkward Jesus that I am working on a powerpoint detailing all the reasons we would be good roomates, but this has made his current roomate get a little possessive (but I will beat him). On a hilarious note - I got to the condo and went to change into a sportbra to go skiing...obviously Awkward Jesus walked in. I thought it was hilarious, he didn't talk to me until we were on the ski lift. I lived with guys for 5 years and never had that happen once, I merely mention being roomates to this kid and we've already had the awkward experience. Good sign?
Oh, and Sunday was also the Superbowl. I am pretty excited to tell all of you that I made the first cut list for this exclusive party (seriously, there was a lot of deliberation based on size-constraints). This party was also amazing for 2 reasons. (1) There was a stadium made of food. Seriously, the walls were tortilla chips and baguette, the field was spinach dip, endzones were queso and salsa, uprights were slim jims, and players were cocktail wieners with olive helmets. Amazing.
(2) The Crush was having his crush over. Well, let me restate. The person I previously named The Crush has since become a good friend, and I have realized I am much happier with it that way. I'll keep the name for him though. Anyway, he has a crush on an undergrad who works in our department and we have nicknamed Psycho - seriously, she takes anorexia to new levels and didn't speak to her mother for 3 months in high school because she had walked in on her changing. Oh also, Psycho has a major thing for The Crush's roomate (my officemate), and The Crush doesn't know. Following? So yeah, I basically went to watch the magic unfold between those two and get a good giggle with KP.
To finish off the stream of consciousness post (OMG I'm too busy with work to write coherently), I will give a little update on New Guy.
So, per usual behavior, the morning after we had sex he sent an email and we emailed throughout the day. I knew he was going to CT for the weekend with his daughter and he would be very busy, but I expected to get an email from him Sunday night or Monday. Nothing came, so I emailed him Monday (today) and got some very brief responses. We are set to see each other again on Thursday, and his behavior is completely normal, it's just a little different from the pattern he had established which makes me question what's going on. I think he is probably just very busy though, so I'm not worried. Well, I am only worried because now that I have had a taste of good sex I will be very bitter (read: crazytown) if I don't get more.
Okay, closing for now with a shout-out to everyone buried in snow in D.C., and now that I am very jealous that I leave D.C. for Hanover and we have no snow on the ground. Curses!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Second Date *Warning: Graphic Content*
So I just got back from my second date with New Guy and it was AMAZING. Sure he's still a little weird and maybe tries a little too hard, but the date was a total blast.
Last time we met I was wearing jeans and a cardigan which he deemed as "conservative lawyer clothing", so this time I wore knee high black boots, that ridiculously tiny denim skirt, and a super tight black shirt - I wouldn't want him getting the idea I was conservative.
I showed up to his place (which is a little scarily far into the wilderness) and he cooked me a really delicious but surprisingly healthy meal (I say that only to contrast the butter and red meat heavy cooking that was Mr. Big). We had a few drinks while we ate and he asked if he could give me a back massage, mainly because he had told me earlier that he wanted one. But wasn't it at least nice of him to give me one first?
Flash to me straddling him on the ground as I massage his back, and you can imagine where this evening is going.
*Warning: the following content may not be suitable for young adults and men who get skeeved out reading about other guys dicks*
We made out on the couch for a bit and then moved to the bed. I only have two negative comments for the encounter: (1) He is a bit on the hairy side, and by a bit I mean OMG this guy is hairy. (2) He told me that he hadn't masturbated for 5 days because he was saving himself for this - um, what? Guys don't save themselves or guys blow their lid in about 35 seconds (see earlier post).
Okay, those are the only negative comments. The foreplay was outstanding and his bad kissing from last time had magically disappeared and become awesome. Most importantly, he has a giant and fantastic dick. Seriously, I giggled a little when I pulled it out. I went to get a condom and he told me he had his own that he liked to use - I found out later that he just needs a larger size. Heh..I'm giggling again.
The sex was good but obviously a little strange when you are trying to adjust to someone new and their rhythm. Also, he made the idiot comment that "he never comes when the girl is on top", at which point I shifted slightly and he finished. Bravo, sir.
Round 2 was similarly awesome, I just need this boy to work on his stamina. Overall, it was great and I really enjoyed having that relaxing cuddle time post-sex where you can laugh and make jokes and feel a happy glow. Have definitely been missing that.
Perhaps my 3rd negative comment is that our schedules are totally not in sync. He got up at 4:45 to get to work and I got up at 11 - so we'll have to work that out so he is a little less tired when I am just waking up.
No idea what the future holds for New Guy, but at least I don't have to awkwardly break it off because of a tiny dick and bad sex. Small miracles folks.
Last time we met I was wearing jeans and a cardigan which he deemed as "conservative lawyer clothing", so this time I wore knee high black boots, that ridiculously tiny denim skirt, and a super tight black shirt - I wouldn't want him getting the idea I was conservative.
I showed up to his place (which is a little scarily far into the wilderness) and he cooked me a really delicious but surprisingly healthy meal (I say that only to contrast the butter and red meat heavy cooking that was Mr. Big). We had a few drinks while we ate and he asked if he could give me a back massage, mainly because he had told me earlier that he wanted one. But wasn't it at least nice of him to give me one first?
Flash to me straddling him on the ground as I massage his back, and you can imagine where this evening is going.
*Warning: the following content may not be suitable for young adults and men who get skeeved out reading about other guys dicks*
We made out on the couch for a bit and then moved to the bed. I only have two negative comments for the encounter: (1) He is a bit on the hairy side, and by a bit I mean OMG this guy is hairy. (2) He told me that he hadn't masturbated for 5 days because he was saving himself for this - um, what? Guys don't save themselves or guys blow their lid in about 35 seconds (see earlier post).
Okay, those are the only negative comments. The foreplay was outstanding and his bad kissing from last time had magically disappeared and become awesome. Most importantly, he has a giant and fantastic dick. Seriously, I giggled a little when I pulled it out. I went to get a condom and he told me he had his own that he liked to use - I found out later that he just needs a larger size. Heh..I'm giggling again.
The sex was good but obviously a little strange when you are trying to adjust to someone new and their rhythm. Also, he made the idiot comment that "he never comes when the girl is on top", at which point I shifted slightly and he finished. Bravo, sir.
Round 2 was similarly awesome, I just need this boy to work on his stamina. Overall, it was great and I really enjoyed having that relaxing cuddle time post-sex where you can laugh and make jokes and feel a happy glow. Have definitely been missing that.
Perhaps my 3rd negative comment is that our schedules are totally not in sync. He got up at 4:45 to get to work and I got up at 11 - so we'll have to work that out so he is a little less tired when I am just waking up.
No idea what the future holds for New Guy, but at least I don't have to awkwardly break it off because of a tiny dick and bad sex. Small miracles folks.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
New Guy
I decided not to do work tonight and instead update everyone on The New Guy. I don't have a name for him yet, and I have been referring to him as New Guy, so that shall stick until you receive official notification.
So, to refresh, I met New Guy over Craigslist and his emails were both funny and intelligent, and it's hard to be funny over email. Last Saturday we met up a Seven Barrels Brewery and we totally hit it off. He is extremely attractive, 36, divorced, has a 3 year old daughter, works a great HR job, and loves food, cycling, funny movies, etc. A really good match. I was a little hesitant at first because some of those demographics sound eerily familiar to Mr. Big, but he has his life very put together and is very careful about boozing and being on time and being responsible.
Anyway, we had drinks and dinner for about 3 hours and we talked about everything. I told him all the ridiculous stories I have, and he confided about his mildly scandalous sexual preferences. He also noted that he has not received or been allowed to give oral in about 5 years, so I think this boy is ready to get a little freaky. That makes two of us :)
After dinner we went to a bar and had another few drinks and got a little more comfortable. He had made a joke about me going home with him, and I think all of you will be really proud of me for not doing anything more than kissing him on the first date. The kiss, by the way, was good but a little aggressive...so I will need to work on him a bit.
So everything sounds good right? But then he has to go and slightly blow everything.
He sent me an email Sunday morning basically saying "I know you are going to Vegas on Wednesday, but I would really like to see you Monday or Tuesday." I would have liked to, but I was so incredibly stressed about work, so I had to tell him no and we'd see each other when I got back.
He responded to this by asking if we could have a quick phone call that night. Sigh. Okay. So we talked for a bit about how stressed I was about work, and at some point we were talking about being busy and I mentioned that my next few weekends are also sort of ridiculous with obligations. At this point he asked "do you really have time to date right now?" I basically told him to chill out because we had only met for 4 hours, and it seemed like he got it, but then he asked if we would be in contact while I was in Vegas. I said I would see.
So, I don't know....I was really looking forward to having a nice casual relationship with this guy, getting used to having someone who is not Mr. Big in my life, and maybe hoping that since I had a guy someone my own age and a little closer to my situation in life would find me while I wasn't looking.
I am not giving up on New Guy, and I am really really excited about our date tomorrow, but he has been emailing and texting a bit everyday. I just wish he would chill out a bit and let things flow naturally.
So, to refresh, I met New Guy over Craigslist and his emails were both funny and intelligent, and it's hard to be funny over email. Last Saturday we met up a Seven Barrels Brewery and we totally hit it off. He is extremely attractive, 36, divorced, has a 3 year old daughter, works a great HR job, and loves food, cycling, funny movies, etc. A really good match. I was a little hesitant at first because some of those demographics sound eerily familiar to Mr. Big, but he has his life very put together and is very careful about boozing and being on time and being responsible.
Anyway, we had drinks and dinner for about 3 hours and we talked about everything. I told him all the ridiculous stories I have, and he confided about his mildly scandalous sexual preferences. He also noted that he has not received or been allowed to give oral in about 5 years, so I think this boy is ready to get a little freaky. That makes two of us :)
After dinner we went to a bar and had another few drinks and got a little more comfortable. He had made a joke about me going home with him, and I think all of you will be really proud of me for not doing anything more than kissing him on the first date. The kiss, by the way, was good but a little aggressive...so I will need to work on him a bit.
So everything sounds good right? But then he has to go and slightly blow everything.
He sent me an email Sunday morning basically saying "I know you are going to Vegas on Wednesday, but I would really like to see you Monday or Tuesday." I would have liked to, but I was so incredibly stressed about work, so I had to tell him no and we'd see each other when I got back.
He responded to this by asking if we could have a quick phone call that night. Sigh. Okay. So we talked for a bit about how stressed I was about work, and at some point we were talking about being busy and I mentioned that my next few weekends are also sort of ridiculous with obligations. At this point he asked "do you really have time to date right now?" I basically told him to chill out because we had only met for 4 hours, and it seemed like he got it, but then he asked if we would be in contact while I was in Vegas. I said I would see.
So, I don't know....I was really looking forward to having a nice casual relationship with this guy, getting used to having someone who is not Mr. Big in my life, and maybe hoping that since I had a guy someone my own age and a little closer to my situation in life would find me while I wasn't looking.
I am not giving up on New Guy, and I am really really excited about our date tomorrow, but he has been emailing and texting a bit everyday. I just wish he would chill out a bit and let things flow naturally.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Vegas Stories or New Guy Stories?
OMG this past week has been crazytown. Many people have emailed me today with questions like "how was your date with the Craigslist guy", "how was Vegas", "are you alive", "what other funny funny Craigslist guy stories do you have"?
I don't know that I have the energy to tell stories about both, so lets do this. I will post about Vegas now, get some funny Craigslist guy stories in tomorrow, and blog about new Craigslist guy after we go on our second date Wednesday. Deal?
VEGAS!!!!!!!!!!
So as many of you know, I went to Vegas from Wednesday to Sunday to go to a psychology conference (Society for Personality and Social Psychology) which meant I was surrounded by colleagues and faculty members at all times. The days proceeding were insane as I had 1000 papers to write, articles to read, and things to get set up to run in my absence. Insanity. I absolutely made myself sick with worry and staying up late to do work.
Wednesday
Wednesday evening we headed to the airport and there were about 15 of us all on the same flight. When we got to Vegas I went to investigate transportation options to the hotel while everyone waited for luggage, and ended up finding out that we could take a shuttle for $6 a person or a giant pimped out stretched limo for $10 a person. Imagine, if you will, 13 nerdy psychology students all driving through Vegas with the windows down, music and lights flashing. Ridiculous, and totally set the tone for the weekend.
Everyone went out that evening for dinner, but I was sick and the 3 hour time difference made me feel like death. It turns out this was the only evening my adviser went out with everyone (and bought them dinner and drinks) and I totally missed the only bonding time that could have happened while in Vegas...but more on that later. Ugh, also, Korean Brendan called me in the middle of the night and woke me up and I never fell back asleep. Damn Korean Brendan.
Thursday
KP and I decided to attend an all-day pre-conference, which basically meant sitting for 8 hours listening to talks on social cognition. Some were pretty interesting, but in general it was a long day of listening. The best part about the conference was cementing my realization that I am only kind of interested in social psychology and am way more interested and suited for social neuroscience (social psychology studying the brain instead of stupid self-report surveys), which means I am at the right school doing the right things.
Thursday night we went out for dinner and then everyone was meeting to go "clubbing" at the lounge in the Venetian hotel. The night started off pretty well, and it was great to have the faculty members buying us booze, but at some point it ended up with everyone in tight dresses awkwardly grinding with faculty members and some pretty important (though young and hot) people in the field. That is..um...not my style, so I booked pretty early (1:30 am is apparently pretty early) and decided I never want to go clubbing with non-grad students again. Bad images seared in my mind. Oh also, it was latin night at the club, which we didn't know about, so the dancing style and clientele was ridiculous.
Friday
Early morning wake-up to get breakfast and attend my first day of sympossia and poster sessions. As all of you know, I am a huge nerd and was totally excited. I found out later that KP and I were basically the only people in the department who attended talks during the conference...but good for us right? There were some great talks, and it was really rewarding to be sitting in a room with very smart people who were scratching their head over brain imaging data while I smuggly nodded along and was like.."Why, of course they found VMPFC activations on that trial". I also had signed up for a mentor lunch with my advisers most well known and successful graduate student, and that went really well. The topic was about working at a business school (yawn), but I managed to get the point across to her that we had the same adviser, so we joked a bit during the lunch and then hung out and talked for 20 minutes or so while waiting for the next sessions to start. It was good, though her advice about working with my adviser was sort of out-dated and not all that useful for me.
Also, I was sitting on a talk and the speaker was giving a very rudimentary explanation of how fMRI works, but at the end he was like..oh btw I am studying smoking and inhibition using fMRI (which is what I want to do). I went up to him and suggested coffee, and emailed him later about it, but I didn't really think we would meet. He emailed me back though, and we had an awesome talk on Saturday over coffee (smoothie for me) that was super relaxed, very funny, but we talked about real research that we could collaborate on and he seemed to even get the impression I knew what I was talking about. I can totally understand at this point how those children whose parents don't love them become freaks who lash onto anything that shows them the slightest bit of encouragement.
Friday night we decided to go out with some of the second year graduate students, but they had friends at the conference from the last school they were at, so we all went out and they basically ditched us. I was way too tired and felt like shit, so KP and I split a pitcher of something strong and I went home and went to bed. The night didn't sound amazing, but I was sort of sad that I didn't see as much of the Vegas strip as everyone else did that night.
Saturday
More early mornings, more of the day spent in lectures. I must admit that by the 3rd day I was getting a little tired of listening. I did sneak out in the afternoon and took a sunshine filled walk with my friend along the strip and checked out most of the stuff I missed (we were at the far end of the strip so it was a pretty long walk to get to any of the really fancy cool stuff).
Saturday night was amazing. The stuff that I have a blog to tell about. We were starving and totally in the mood to destroy the town, so we basically wandered until we found a fairly cheap and amazing Italian place in a casino. Wandered while drinking 24 oz's of beer, I love walking beer. Dinner was amazing, as were the incredibly strong Manhattans I was pounding. At the point, everyone left but KP had never gambled before so that obviously had to be changed. We played Black Jack at a table with really friendly guys and an amazing dealer who basically showed KP what to do and was really funny. We both ended up loosing a little money, but what is the fun in walking away while you're $80 up?
We left the casino to try to make our way to the annual graduate student run party that was occurring somewhere off the strip. Some guy in a stretched Escalade offered to drive us there for $30, we talked him down to $25, and were cruising down the strip, dressed to kill, music blasting...looking like pimps. Love it.
The graduate run party was TERRIBLE. Crowded, hipster-bar, bad music, shitty line for the bar, expensive drinks. KP and I wandered next door to the most amazing place with a mechanical bull and some stripper poles set up along the sides. At the point, I had been downing straight Jack Daniels for a while, and was pumped to jump on the bull in my little black dress. I'll see if I can upload the pics to Facebook ;)
KP and I met these two older guys who were obviously captivated and kept buying us drinks (despite our modest protests). At some point we debated heading back to their penthouse suite at Mandelay Bay (they weren't bullshitting, we saw the hotel keycards and were clearly not joking around about taking us back), but many of the grad students had called and were like "this party sucks, where are you two". So, instead of sex with a rich man we ended up partying at the bar for a while longer.
At some point my favorite person in the whole world announced that he needed to go to a strip club while in Vegas. He is my favorite person because he is like 29, balding, adorable blue puppy dog eyes, married to the greatest woman in the world, and the funniest person who is never trying to be funny. He was going to bring my officemate as his original plan, but he doesn't realize that officemate is a 25 year old virgin by choice, so I obviously took control and decided the strip club HAD to happen.
Flash forward - KP, favorite person and myself get to Sapphire (largest strip club in Vegas) and are surrounded by absolutely gorgeous woman. We sit down and the guy to our left is so hammered that he can't figure out how to breath but wants us to drink the rest of his bottle of vodka. Fine. The guy to my right notices me coveting the hot woman giving him a lap dance, so he sends her over to me and I get my first of..maybe 5 or 6 lap dances for the night. I love Vegas. The guy apparently owned a ton of Jimmy Johns in Chicago and was at the big Vegas convention with his employees who he was taking out for strippers. I ended up chatting with them all night (apparently, being the only woman wearing clothes in a sea of strippers makes you the most desirable person in the room) and it was just really great. KP was a sport, but clearly was not as intoxicated with the scent of perfume and the feel of smooth stripper boobs on her face, so she headed out and favorite person and I shared lap dances all night. Awww...like friends! It was super good bonding time with him as he hates a lot of the same things about the department that I hate. It was also really funny to tell him all my wild DC stories as he remarked with something like "you seemed to be really pushing this wild girl identity when you go to Hanover, which was sort of off-putting........but now maybe I'm realizing that was actually just who you are..."
We left around 5:30 am and I got caught in some crazy ass fight as we exited the building and had to dive into the bushes as a bouncer bear hugged a woman from behind who was throwing/breaking shit and clearly going to kill a bitch. I love Vegas. Wandered back to our hotel and we were both the first people up and showered in our rooms. Maybe strippers + Jack Daniels is my magic combination.
Sunday
Obviously a shit show. KP wanted to die and I had a headache from such a complete lack of sleep over the past week. But whatever, we made it to the airport. That being said, as we landed in Manchester I started to look around for my car/house keys and had a scary realization. I remembered that when I got into Vegas I had put those keys in the open mesh compartment of my checked luggage, and I didn't remember moving them. Fuck. Let me tell you, tense is waiting at midnight (3 am Vegas time) at a baggage claim with the people depending on your for a ride home, waiting to see if the keys had stayed in the pocked despite all odds. Somehow they did, and I realized that I was happy to have lost money gambling and saved all the luck I had for that moment. Either way, somehow I managed to get everyone home safely.
Overall, Vegas was a great experience and really fun for my first conference. A few quick dark notes I shall highlight.
1) I hate my adviser. I obviously feel like this most of the time, but when every single person from the department is getting invited to dinner with their advisers/lab, and their adviser is checking in on them and seeing what they are up to, it really highlights just how shitty the morale is in my lab. I emailed the shitty 5th year student in our lab to ask if our lab was doing anything...he never got back to me...and sort of just brushed it off when I saw him in person. Compare this with my friend whose adviser took their whole lab out to Nobu the last night. I did see my adviser by happenstance the last day of the conference. I walked out a little early from a talk and saw him chatting on his cell phone. I waved. I used the public computers real quick to check my email, and saw that he was off the phone so I went over.
Me: Hi, how are you doing.
Him: Fine.
Me: This conference has been great (I go on for about 20 seconds talking about the conference)
Him: Isn't that [insert name of former grad student] full of energy?
Me: OH yeah
Him: Okay well it was nice to see you......
Awesome. I can only hope that once the 5th year is out, KP and I can work to change the dynamics of our lab into something a little more fun and close-knit. Or, we won't.
2) I don't remember what I called this girl in my past posts, but I was disturbingly close to killing my friend who I brought to VT and had a kidney stone and my mom decided she completely hated. My mom is never wrong. This girl was so inconsiderate and oblivious to how awful she was...I can't even begin to detail everything, but I will NEVER share a room with her or make travel plans that highly revolve around her again. OMG I hate her.
3) In general, I was surprised at how little the Dartmouth people hung out while in Vegas. Obviously people chunked a bit into groups, and nobody was mean or anything, but I was just a little surprised that I never saw some of the people and that nobody tried to organize bigger gatherings of people. Oh well.
Okay, I hope that is a satisfactory account of Vegas, and I'll make sure to get the other stories up soon.
I don't know that I have the energy to tell stories about both, so lets do this. I will post about Vegas now, get some funny Craigslist guy stories in tomorrow, and blog about new Craigslist guy after we go on our second date Wednesday. Deal?
VEGAS!!!!!!!!!!
So as many of you know, I went to Vegas from Wednesday to Sunday to go to a psychology conference (Society for Personality and Social Psychology) which meant I was surrounded by colleagues and faculty members at all times. The days proceeding were insane as I had 1000 papers to write, articles to read, and things to get set up to run in my absence. Insanity. I absolutely made myself sick with worry and staying up late to do work.
Wednesday
Wednesday evening we headed to the airport and there were about 15 of us all on the same flight. When we got to Vegas I went to investigate transportation options to the hotel while everyone waited for luggage, and ended up finding out that we could take a shuttle for $6 a person or a giant pimped out stretched limo for $10 a person. Imagine, if you will, 13 nerdy psychology students all driving through Vegas with the windows down, music and lights flashing. Ridiculous, and totally set the tone for the weekend.
Everyone went out that evening for dinner, but I was sick and the 3 hour time difference made me feel like death. It turns out this was the only evening my adviser went out with everyone (and bought them dinner and drinks) and I totally missed the only bonding time that could have happened while in Vegas...but more on that later. Ugh, also, Korean Brendan called me in the middle of the night and woke me up and I never fell back asleep. Damn Korean Brendan.
Thursday
KP and I decided to attend an all-day pre-conference, which basically meant sitting for 8 hours listening to talks on social cognition. Some were pretty interesting, but in general it was a long day of listening. The best part about the conference was cementing my realization that I am only kind of interested in social psychology and am way more interested and suited for social neuroscience (social psychology studying the brain instead of stupid self-report surveys), which means I am at the right school doing the right things.
Thursday night we went out for dinner and then everyone was meeting to go "clubbing" at the lounge in the Venetian hotel. The night started off pretty well, and it was great to have the faculty members buying us booze, but at some point it ended up with everyone in tight dresses awkwardly grinding with faculty members and some pretty important (though young and hot) people in the field. That is..um...not my style, so I booked pretty early (1:30 am is apparently pretty early) and decided I never want to go clubbing with non-grad students again. Bad images seared in my mind. Oh also, it was latin night at the club, which we didn't know about, so the dancing style and clientele was ridiculous.
Friday
Early morning wake-up to get breakfast and attend my first day of sympossia and poster sessions. As all of you know, I am a huge nerd and was totally excited. I found out later that KP and I were basically the only people in the department who attended talks during the conference...but good for us right? There were some great talks, and it was really rewarding to be sitting in a room with very smart people who were scratching their head over brain imaging data while I smuggly nodded along and was like.."Why, of course they found VMPFC activations on that trial". I also had signed up for a mentor lunch with my advisers most well known and successful graduate student, and that went really well. The topic was about working at a business school (yawn), but I managed to get the point across to her that we had the same adviser, so we joked a bit during the lunch and then hung out and talked for 20 minutes or so while waiting for the next sessions to start. It was good, though her advice about working with my adviser was sort of out-dated and not all that useful for me.
Also, I was sitting on a talk and the speaker was giving a very rudimentary explanation of how fMRI works, but at the end he was like..oh btw I am studying smoking and inhibition using fMRI (which is what I want to do). I went up to him and suggested coffee, and emailed him later about it, but I didn't really think we would meet. He emailed me back though, and we had an awesome talk on Saturday over coffee (smoothie for me) that was super relaxed, very funny, but we talked about real research that we could collaborate on and he seemed to even get the impression I knew what I was talking about. I can totally understand at this point how those children whose parents don't love them become freaks who lash onto anything that shows them the slightest bit of encouragement.
Friday night we decided to go out with some of the second year graduate students, but they had friends at the conference from the last school they were at, so we all went out and they basically ditched us. I was way too tired and felt like shit, so KP and I split a pitcher of something strong and I went home and went to bed. The night didn't sound amazing, but I was sort of sad that I didn't see as much of the Vegas strip as everyone else did that night.
Saturday
More early mornings, more of the day spent in lectures. I must admit that by the 3rd day I was getting a little tired of listening. I did sneak out in the afternoon and took a sunshine filled walk with my friend along the strip and checked out most of the stuff I missed (we were at the far end of the strip so it was a pretty long walk to get to any of the really fancy cool stuff).
Saturday night was amazing. The stuff that I have a blog to tell about. We were starving and totally in the mood to destroy the town, so we basically wandered until we found a fairly cheap and amazing Italian place in a casino. Wandered while drinking 24 oz's of beer, I love walking beer. Dinner was amazing, as were the incredibly strong Manhattans I was pounding. At the point, everyone left but KP had never gambled before so that obviously had to be changed. We played Black Jack at a table with really friendly guys and an amazing dealer who basically showed KP what to do and was really funny. We both ended up loosing a little money, but what is the fun in walking away while you're $80 up?
We left the casino to try to make our way to the annual graduate student run party that was occurring somewhere off the strip. Some guy in a stretched Escalade offered to drive us there for $30, we talked him down to $25, and were cruising down the strip, dressed to kill, music blasting...looking like pimps. Love it.
The graduate run party was TERRIBLE. Crowded, hipster-bar, bad music, shitty line for the bar, expensive drinks. KP and I wandered next door to the most amazing place with a mechanical bull and some stripper poles set up along the sides. At the point, I had been downing straight Jack Daniels for a while, and was pumped to jump on the bull in my little black dress. I'll see if I can upload the pics to Facebook ;)
KP and I met these two older guys who were obviously captivated and kept buying us drinks (despite our modest protests). At some point we debated heading back to their penthouse suite at Mandelay Bay (they weren't bullshitting, we saw the hotel keycards and were clearly not joking around about taking us back), but many of the grad students had called and were like "this party sucks, where are you two". So, instead of sex with a rich man we ended up partying at the bar for a while longer.
At some point my favorite person in the whole world announced that he needed to go to a strip club while in Vegas. He is my favorite person because he is like 29, balding, adorable blue puppy dog eyes, married to the greatest woman in the world, and the funniest person who is never trying to be funny. He was going to bring my officemate as his original plan, but he doesn't realize that officemate is a 25 year old virgin by choice, so I obviously took control and decided the strip club HAD to happen.
Flash forward - KP, favorite person and myself get to Sapphire (largest strip club in Vegas) and are surrounded by absolutely gorgeous woman. We sit down and the guy to our left is so hammered that he can't figure out how to breath but wants us to drink the rest of his bottle of vodka. Fine. The guy to my right notices me coveting the hot woman giving him a lap dance, so he sends her over to me and I get my first of..maybe 5 or 6 lap dances for the night. I love Vegas. The guy apparently owned a ton of Jimmy Johns in Chicago and was at the big Vegas convention with his employees who he was taking out for strippers. I ended up chatting with them all night (apparently, being the only woman wearing clothes in a sea of strippers makes you the most desirable person in the room) and it was just really great. KP was a sport, but clearly was not as intoxicated with the scent of perfume and the feel of smooth stripper boobs on her face, so she headed out and favorite person and I shared lap dances all night. Awww...like friends! It was super good bonding time with him as he hates a lot of the same things about the department that I hate. It was also really funny to tell him all my wild DC stories as he remarked with something like "you seemed to be really pushing this wild girl identity when you go to Hanover, which was sort of off-putting....
We left around 5:30 am and I got caught in some crazy ass fight as we exited the building and had to dive into the bushes as a bouncer bear hugged a woman from behind who was throwing/breaking shit and clearly going to kill a bitch. I love Vegas. Wandered back to our hotel and we were both the first people up and showered in our rooms. Maybe strippers + Jack Daniels is my magic combination.
Sunday
Obviously a shit show. KP wanted to die and I had a headache from such a complete lack of sleep over the past week. But whatever, we made it to the airport. That being said, as we landed in Manchester I started to look around for my car/house keys and had a scary realization. I remembered that when I got into Vegas I had put those keys in the open mesh compartment of my checked luggage, and I didn't remember moving them. Fuck. Let me tell you, tense is waiting at midnight (3 am Vegas time) at a baggage claim with the people depending on your for a ride home, waiting to see if the keys had stayed in the pocked despite all odds. Somehow they did, and I realized that I was happy to have lost money gambling and saved all the luck I had for that moment. Either way, somehow I managed to get everyone home safely.
Overall, Vegas was a great experience and really fun for my first conference. A few quick dark notes I shall highlight.
1) I hate my adviser. I obviously feel like this most of the time, but when every single person from the department is getting invited to dinner with their advisers/lab, and their adviser is checking in on them and seeing what they are up to, it really highlights just how shitty the morale is in my lab. I emailed the shitty 5th year student in our lab to ask if our lab was doing anything...he never got back to me...and sort of just brushed it off when I saw him in person. Compare this with my friend whose adviser took their whole lab out to Nobu the last night. I did see my adviser by happenstance the last day of the conference. I walked out a little early from a talk and saw him chatting on his cell phone. I waved. I used the public computers real quick to check my email, and saw that he was off the phone so I went over.
Me: Hi, how are you doing.
Him: Fine.
Me: This conference has been great (I go on for about 20 seconds talking about the conference)
Him: Isn't that [insert name of former grad student] full of energy?
Me: OH yeah
Him: Okay well it was nice to see you......
Awesome. I can only hope that once the 5th year is out, KP and I can work to change the dynamics of our lab into something a little more fun and close-knit. Or, we won't.
2) I don't remember what I called this girl in my past posts, but I was disturbingly close to killing my friend who I brought to VT and had a kidney stone and my mom decided she completely hated. My mom is never wrong. This girl was so inconsiderate and oblivious to how awful she was...I can't even begin to detail everything, but I will NEVER share a room with her or make travel plans that highly revolve around her again. OMG I hate her.
3) In general, I was surprised at how little the Dartmouth people hung out while in Vegas. Obviously people chunked a bit into groups, and nobody was mean or anything, but I was just a little surprised that I never saw some of the people and that nobody tried to organize bigger gatherings of people. Oh well.
Okay, I hope that is a satisfactory account of Vegas, and I'll make sure to get the other stories up soon.
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