Exciting Exciting!!
All things cleared with boss and tickets have been bought - I will be headed to DC Labor Day weekend. I'm coming in late Thursday (September 2nd) and leaving early Tuesday morning (September 7th). I hope to see as many of you as I can during that time, so get ready!
!!!!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Judgment Call?
Okay, so I was emailing a bit with my dominatrix gig guy, he asked how the condo situation worked out, I told him it all worked out and I was almost moved in and busy painting, etc.
He emailed me back something like "Do you have more painting, because I would really enjoy painting for you in the nude with you watching (fully clothed)".
I know what y'all are thinking, but doing basic chores in the nude is a pretty standard desire for many submissives, and this guy has made his living as a jack-of-all-trades sort of person.
So I responded with "damnit, I wish I had known before I painted...any chance you do shelves ;)" Now I was basically joking, but ya know, not exactly.
He responded with "I would love to build you shelves, or do any other condo-related chores you would like. Seriously, I would really be happy to do this."
So this brings up 2 questions.
Question 1: Do I take him up on his offer? I do have some border/accent painting to do, I have a closet of shelves to make, a bathroom light/vent to install, a ton of fixtures to put back in....
Question 2: Do I charge my usual rate for this? It seems weird to be like "hey, drive 45 minutes to my house, strip down and fix up all this shit in my condo, and then pay me $200 for doing it", but then again, maybe not paying me would violate the submissive/dominant relationship?
New ground people...new ground.
He emailed me back something like "Do you have more painting, because I would really enjoy painting for you in the nude with you watching (fully clothed)".
I know what y'all are thinking, but doing basic chores in the nude is a pretty standard desire for many submissives, and this guy has made his living as a jack-of-all-trades sort of person.
So I responded with "damnit, I wish I had known before I painted...any chance you do shelves ;)" Now I was basically joking, but ya know, not exactly.
He responded with "I would love to build you shelves, or do any other condo-related chores you would like. Seriously, I would really be happy to do this."
So this brings up 2 questions.
Question 1: Do I take him up on his offer? I do have some border/accent painting to do, I have a closet of shelves to make, a bathroom light/vent to install, a ton of fixtures to put back in....
Question 2: Do I charge my usual rate for this? It seems weird to be like "hey, drive 45 minutes to my house, strip down and fix up all this shit in my condo, and then pay me $200 for doing it", but then again, maybe not paying me would violate the submissive/dominant relationship?
New ground people...new ground.
Monday, July 26, 2010
WHAT?
So I was hanging around tonight, thinking about blogging and decided to run a quick google search to make sure I'm still safely sliding under the radar.
Hit Number 1 was the following: http://bingstudy.com/search/the-haters-guide-to-the-great-white-north-date-post-1-of-2--the
WHAT?!?!? What is this website?
Most importantly, the first line you can read is "Where is the clitoris". Thank you sweet internet Jesus, that is fantastic.
Also, none ridiculous related, I was out taking a walk today about 3/4 of a mile from my house this dog passed by me and started sort of walking with me but not really. Like it would stray off for a while and then stop, and then come rushing back. I never acknowledged the dog or gave it any sort of positive encouragement.
Actually, 2 dogs came up to me, from different directions, one not wearing a collar (who kept walking) and the one with a collar who followed me.
As I kept walking home, the dog kept following me, but I figured it probably belonged to someone close by. I finally got to my apartment and the dog was already a step ahead of me and ready to burst into my condo. I would try to divert its attention and rush in, but it would keep beating me back and try to get its nose in the door.
So I'm like..okay, this is fucking annoying. I checked the big, ugly, smelly dog's collar and it had rabies shot information and it's Lebanon ID number, but no obvious address or phone number to call.
Finally I was able to outsmart the dog, rushed inside, and then tried not to be upset as I heard it sort of pacing around outside for a bit and then wandering around the other condo units for a while.
My question - what was I supposed to do in this situation? I thought about calling some form of animal control, but wouldn't that mean I would need to wait with the dog for them to come out and find it? I really didn't want to do that. Now I WAS willing to do that for the adorable cat Boots (you may recall Boots from some winter post...god I miss Boots), but not for some smelly dog after I had gone on a 4 mile walk and was tired and hungry.
So, I don't know..I am genuinely curious what the correct protocol was in this case. Thoughts?
Hit Number 1 was the following: http://bingstudy.com/search/the-haters-guide-to-the-great-white-north-date-post-1-of-2--the
WHAT?!?!? What is this website?
Most importantly, the first line you can read is "Where is the clitoris". Thank you sweet internet Jesus, that is fantastic.
Also, none ridiculous related, I was out taking a walk today about 3/4 of a mile from my house this dog passed by me and started sort of walking with me but not really. Like it would stray off for a while and then stop, and then come rushing back. I never acknowledged the dog or gave it any sort of positive encouragement.
Actually, 2 dogs came up to me, from different directions, one not wearing a collar (who kept walking) and the one with a collar who followed me.
As I kept walking home, the dog kept following me, but I figured it probably belonged to someone close by. I finally got to my apartment and the dog was already a step ahead of me and ready to burst into my condo. I would try to divert its attention and rush in, but it would keep beating me back and try to get its nose in the door.
So I'm like..okay, this is fucking annoying. I checked the big, ugly, smelly dog's collar and it had rabies shot information and it's Lebanon ID number, but no obvious address or phone number to call.
Finally I was able to outsmart the dog, rushed inside, and then tried not to be upset as I heard it sort of pacing around outside for a bit and then wandering around the other condo units for a while.
My question - what was I supposed to do in this situation? I thought about calling some form of animal control, but wouldn't that mean I would need to wait with the dog for them to come out and find it? I really didn't want to do that. Now I WAS willing to do that for the adorable cat Boots (you may recall Boots from some winter post...god I miss Boots), but not for some smelly dog after I had gone on a 4 mile walk and was tired and hungry.
So, I don't know..I am genuinely curious what the correct protocol was in this case. Thoughts?
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Blogging While Painting
I decided that a good use of paint drying time would be an update, so let's do this thing.
First order of business for new condo was to paint the bathroom. It was the darkest color blue I have ever seen, with a matte finish (no shine), in a tiny bathroom with only one dim light. Epic design fail. I thought it would be super easy to paint the bathroom a white color and then I can go back and make some pretty/cool border or accents or something.
Saturday morning, I headed to Home Depot, ready to take on the world. I absolutely fulfilled the role of crazy person while picking out the color (ooo...this is so white..NO WAIT, THIS is so much more whiter!). I finally decided on Heavy Cream which would be a nice creamy white that wouldn't make my slightly off-white bathtub look terrible. I picked up brushes, some other things I needed for little jobs, and a bathroom ceiling light/ventilation system (my Dad tells me I can install this myself).
I get home, set things up, and start painting. With a brush. Because I am a stupid person, apparently. I get finished with 2 walls and it looks absolutely awful. I turn to the internet to figure out why it's not looking good, and DIY sites tells me I just need more paint. More paint, brilliant! Brilliant but false. I was gchatting with my friend who pointed out that I needed a roller and I should probably wear a sign explaining I am a stupid person.
Another trip to Home Depot, picked up rollers, take 2. It obviously took 1/8 of the time and looked much better. Don't get me wrong, it's still really challenging because the last people obviously painted before any of the fixtures were put in, so they managed to get this terribly dark blue color in knocks and crannies that I can't even begin to imagine how I would go about doing.
Oh by the way, I unpacked the bathroom light/fan and quickly realized my dad is a crazy person - there is NO CHANCE I could install this on my own. I will find a man-type to work this out for me.
On that man-type note, I must admit there is something sort of sad about moving into your first place without a significant other / best friend to share this process with. Not only do I have a lot of trouble doing some of the things requiring tools, but I feel like that would make it so much more fun (giggling over the 5th trip to Home Depot, laughing when the other person accidentally covers their hair in paint by leaning against a wall, and rewarding a job well done with a round of sex). Don't get me wrong, I am loving my new place and living alone, it just is a little part that feels empty.
Anyway, moving on to a super quick weekend update...
Friday: A friend's girlfriend had a painting at an art exhibit so we all went, admired art, and then headed back to their place for hours of Catch Phrase, booze, and macaroni and cheese. Solid evening
Saturday: Painting adventure, followed by a softball Playoffs game, more painting, and then dinner/drinks with the girls. It was actually a very strange evening because we headed to Salt Hill (reminder: this is where that waiter I was sleeping with worked - New Boy) and were sitting on the patio having drinks. New Boy had ignored me for the last 2 months and was rumored to have been seen with a girlfriend. We sat down and he was working the patio, we did a little wave and smiled and I breathed a sigh of relief that we weren't in his section. After 45 minutes of him walking by and not saying anything, he stops at the table and says something like "hi, how have you all been, blah blah blah, I'll be off in an hour so would it be okay if I came and had a drink with you all?".
Um....okay? So he gets off work, sits at the bar for a while, appears to leave, comes back, and then comes and has a seat. We chatted for a bit, it was pleasant enough, he headed back to the bar to get more to drink, and eventually we decided to leave and he met me halfway to the door to say goodbye. All in all it was totally fine, but really random and awkward for him to come say anything to me. But that is Hanover for ya!
Sunday: More painting, another softball playoff game and then a bbq.
First weekend back has been better, and I am maybe 60% recovered from missing DC mucho and getting back into the swing of life in Hanover.
First order of business for new condo was to paint the bathroom. It was the darkest color blue I have ever seen, with a matte finish (no shine), in a tiny bathroom with only one dim light. Epic design fail. I thought it would be super easy to paint the bathroom a white color and then I can go back and make some pretty/cool border or accents or something.
Saturday morning, I headed to Home Depot, ready to take on the world. I absolutely fulfilled the role of crazy person while picking out the color (ooo...this is so white..NO WAIT, THIS is so much more whiter!). I finally decided on Heavy Cream which would be a nice creamy white that wouldn't make my slightly off-white bathtub look terrible. I picked up brushes, some other things I needed for little jobs, and a bathroom ceiling light/ventilation system (my Dad tells me I can install this myself).
I get home, set things up, and start painting. With a brush. Because I am a stupid person, apparently. I get finished with 2 walls and it looks absolutely awful. I turn to the internet to figure out why it's not looking good, and DIY sites tells me I just need more paint. More paint, brilliant! Brilliant but false. I was gchatting with my friend who pointed out that I needed a roller and I should probably wear a sign explaining I am a stupid person.
Another trip to Home Depot, picked up rollers, take 2. It obviously took 1/8 of the time and looked much better. Don't get me wrong, it's still really challenging because the last people obviously painted before any of the fixtures were put in, so they managed to get this terribly dark blue color in knocks and crannies that I can't even begin to imagine how I would go about doing.
Oh by the way, I unpacked the bathroom light/fan and quickly realized my dad is a crazy person - there is NO CHANCE I could install this on my own. I will find a man-type to work this out for me.
On that man-type note, I must admit there is something sort of sad about moving into your first place without a significant other / best friend to share this process with. Not only do I have a lot of trouble doing some of the things requiring tools, but I feel like that would make it so much more fun (giggling over the 5th trip to Home Depot, laughing when the other person accidentally covers their hair in paint by leaning against a wall, and rewarding a job well done with a round of sex). Don't get me wrong, I am loving my new place and living alone, it just is a little part that feels empty.
Anyway, moving on to a super quick weekend update...
Friday: A friend's girlfriend had a painting at an art exhibit so we all went, admired art, and then headed back to their place for hours of Catch Phrase, booze, and macaroni and cheese. Solid evening
Saturday: Painting adventure, followed by a softball Playoffs game, more painting, and then dinner/drinks with the girls. It was actually a very strange evening because we headed to Salt Hill (reminder: this is where that waiter I was sleeping with worked - New Boy) and were sitting on the patio having drinks. New Boy had ignored me for the last 2 months and was rumored to have been seen with a girlfriend. We sat down and he was working the patio, we did a little wave and smiled and I breathed a sigh of relief that we weren't in his section. After 45 minutes of him walking by and not saying anything, he stops at the table and says something like "hi, how have you all been, blah blah blah, I'll be off in an hour so would it be okay if I came and had a drink with you all?".
Um....okay? So he gets off work, sits at the bar for a while, appears to leave, comes back, and then comes and has a seat. We chatted for a bit, it was pleasant enough, he headed back to the bar to get more to drink, and eventually we decided to leave and he met me halfway to the door to say goodbye. All in all it was totally fine, but really random and awkward for him to come say anything to me. But that is Hanover for ya!
Sunday: More painting, another softball playoff game and then a bbq.
First weekend back has been better, and I am maybe 60% recovered from missing DC mucho and getting back into the swing of life in Hanover.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Crazy Crazy Crazy
I am still so incredibly exhausted from everything, but here is a quick rundown to prove I am alive and have been productive.
Camp was super fun, heartwarming, adorable, exhausting, frustrating, maddening. As always, I think I am a crazy person but I am so happy I went. I'll have ridiculous stories later when I'm not a zombie, but for now I'll just say the kids are crazy as usual, it was good to see Sandy and my other camp peoples, and it was worth going for sure. My knee even held up! ...sort of.
As I have already warned those that would be pissed, I did end up stopping to see Mr. Big (I know, I know). It was pretty much as expected - the most amazingly wonderful and tragically sad. I guess I had hoped things would feel different, that would be easier, but it was wonderful to see him and felt like we hadn't missed a beat. Well no, he was a lot more appreciative this time around (but I am not fooled, it's easy to be wonderful for one night). Anyway, lots of tears, but it was perfect to come off of the exhaustion of camp and be pampered and cared for by someone who loved me. Also, the sex was amazing (obviously).
The drive from DC to CT was absolutely terrible and took much longer than expected, so I spent the night in CT with the parents and then woke up early to get to NH early and get into work.
I can honestly say that I am proud to have completed a 27 hour car trip by myself and that next time I will not trust GPS quite as much.
So anyway, I got back to school on Monday and worked through my exhaustion to get my abstract finished and submitted. HOORAY. I slept 11 hours, woke up feeling even more like a zombie than usual, and got into town to prepare for my condo closing this afternoon. That's right bitches, I'm a motherfucking homeowner. SO EXCITED. I keep looking around and thinking about all the awesome changes I am going to make and how amazing my condo is going to be.
To sum: I am completely exhausted but everything that needed to happen, happened. Go me! Finally, for all you DC people who I didn't get a chance to see, I will be heading to the district late August-mid September, so I will be seeing y'all.
Time for another 9 pm bedtime!
Camp was super fun, heartwarming, adorable, exhausting, frustrating, maddening. As always, I think I am a crazy person but I am so happy I went. I'll have ridiculous stories later when I'm not a zombie, but for now I'll just say the kids are crazy as usual, it was good to see Sandy and my other camp peoples, and it was worth going for sure. My knee even held up! ...sort of.
As I have already warned those that would be pissed, I did end up stopping to see Mr. Big (I know, I know). It was pretty much as expected - the most amazingly wonderful and tragically sad. I guess I had hoped things would feel different, that would be easier, but it was wonderful to see him and felt like we hadn't missed a beat. Well no, he was a lot more appreciative this time around (but I am not fooled, it's easy to be wonderful for one night). Anyway, lots of tears, but it was perfect to come off of the exhaustion of camp and be pampered and cared for by someone who loved me. Also, the sex was amazing (obviously).
The drive from DC to CT was absolutely terrible and took much longer than expected, so I spent the night in CT with the parents and then woke up early to get to NH early and get into work.
I can honestly say that I am proud to have completed a 27 hour car trip by myself and that next time I will not trust GPS quite as much.
So anyway, I got back to school on Monday and worked through my exhaustion to get my abstract finished and submitted. HOORAY. I slept 11 hours, woke up feeling even more like a zombie than usual, and got into town to prepare for my condo closing this afternoon. That's right bitches, I'm a motherfucking homeowner. SO EXCITED. I keep looking around and thinking about all the awesome changes I am going to make and how amazing my condo is going to be.
To sum: I am completely exhausted but everything that needed to happen, happened. Go me! Finally, for all you DC people who I didn't get a chance to see, I will be heading to the district late August-mid September, so I will be seeing y'all.
Time for another 9 pm bedtime!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Made it to DC
Hi all,
So Friday went really well, I got an early call from my bank telling me I got all my financing stuff approved a week early (Hooray!), I sent in a draft of my abstract to my adviser, and I had a nice easy 3 hour drive to CT...where I got plenty of sleep and watched a lot of Harry Potter movies (hi def plasma tv..amazing!).
Today I got up and made the substantially shittier drive from CT to DC. It was of course a perfect drive until I hit Jersey, and then it was congestion and rain until I got through to Baltimore. But I still made it in 6 hours.
The return to DC was completely bittersweet (and yes, I did cry when I entered the city). It was great to see everything and drive through my old neighborhood and see how much it has changed. But of course, it really drives home how much I miss the city. I also got to see Amanda and Matty, and meet his awesome girlfriend, and that was fantastic. I MISSED THEM SO MUCH!! And for those of you wondering, I decided on Zorba's as my "haven't been to the city in a year and can only have one dinner" destination. No regrets.
So overall I am really happy I was able to make a stop in DC, but now as I sit here alone in Matt's apartment, I feel very sad. This is going to come off as strange, but something about being in Matt's room and being around his stuff brings back the 5 years that we lived together, and all those good memories, and really reminds me of the friends and things that I miss.
Maybe it was too soon.....
Anyway, I'm off to Epilepsy Camp for a week so expect lots of fun stories!
So Friday went really well, I got an early call from my bank telling me I got all my financing stuff approved a week early (Hooray!), I sent in a draft of my abstract to my adviser, and I had a nice easy 3 hour drive to CT...where I got plenty of sleep and watched a lot of Harry Potter movies (hi def plasma tv..amazing!).
Today I got up and made the substantially shittier drive from CT to DC. It was of course a perfect drive until I hit Jersey, and then it was congestion and rain until I got through to Baltimore. But I still made it in 6 hours.
The return to DC was completely bittersweet (and yes, I did cry when I entered the city). It was great to see everything and drive through my old neighborhood and see how much it has changed. But of course, it really drives home how much I miss the city. I also got to see Amanda and Matty, and meet his awesome girlfriend, and that was fantastic. I MISSED THEM SO MUCH!! And for those of you wondering, I decided on Zorba's as my "haven't been to the city in a year and can only have one dinner" destination. No regrets.
So overall I am really happy I was able to make a stop in DC, but now as I sit here alone in Matt's apartment, I feel very sad. This is going to come off as strange, but something about being in Matt's room and being around his stuff brings back the 5 years that we lived together, and all those good memories, and really reminds me of the friends and things that I miss.
Maybe it was too soon.....
Anyway, I'm off to Epilepsy Camp for a week so expect lots of fun stories!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Date Post 2 of 2 - Where is the clitoris?
Yes, you are reading that correctly, last night I actually had to explain both what and where the clitoris is located to a 22 year old. Allow me to graphically elaborate on the evening.
So this was obviously the undergrad from Saturday night, and I had a really good time with him, so I was looking forward to drinks. I picked him up, he was a little adorably awkward, but we had a nice chat over drinks, little hand-holding, all in all it was cute and made me feel smiley.
We get back to my place and we start making out on the couch and I suggest we go to the bedroom. It was pretty hot, so it made logical sense to rip off our clothes...yes...logical sense.
We're on the bed, kissed for maybe 5 minutes, and he pulls the "fucking you with his pointed finger" move. Now, I don't necessarily dislike this move, but it's a bit much to start off with. I sort of pull him off after a few minutes and he says "okay, should I put a condom on?" **Cue record scratch**. This sort of shit might be okay for a drunken late night hook-up, but this is a date, there should be some foreplay.
I said to him "um..no, you should definitely not get a condom..that was not enough warm up for me." He looks confused, so I said something like "do you...not..go down on girls?" He continues looking confused but says that he does...but makes no move towards doing it. I continue to push "well...would you go down on me?". He says okay, and begins to basically tongue fuck me, but he is having trouble breathing because he's...well..okay..too graphic, but it's clear he has no idea what he is doing. I pull him up and say "um...okay...that is not good." He responds with "well yeah, I'm just having a lot of trouble breathing." I said "well obviously because you're not doing it right..."
At this point I pause, there is a scary thought running through my mind - he can't possibly have never done this before..can he? As delicately as humanly possible I ask him "do you know where the clitoris is?"
His response was priceless - "yes, it's up inside you right? Where I was touching you before?"
...I...I never could have imagined that a 22 year old did not know where the clitoris was. At this point I had to decide if I was going to kick him out or attempt to do some teaching.
I picked the teacher option, and both made a little diagram with my hands and also showed him where he should be focusing his attention. We tried the oral sex thing again, and he was doing better. At least he was receptive to learning, but it's still really awkward because he both wants to learn and is acting a little stubborn.
At some point we move on to sex, and it was good but I realized this was because I was on top (as I was on Saturday). I decided to test the waters and see what he could do on top or from behind. It was a total disaster. He couldn't always figure out if he was in, he had no idea about rhythm, and it was clear that he didn't know how to position himself in such a manner that everything works.
Another problem that became more and more apparent is that he is on anti-depressant meds (which is fine) which (a) seem to make him slightly impotent and (b) cause him to need to pee every 20 minutes or so and he's too sensitive after he pees to even put pants on for 5 minutes or so. Weird side-effects...and definitely something that interferes with things.
So how did things end? I made him jerk himself off (something like a lesson in being comfortable around others), we cuddled and made out for a while afterwards, and I sent him home with a sex book and the instructions to "learn this shit in the week that I'm gone and MEMORIZE the section on oral sex for women. Seriously, memorize that shit."
If I were not in Hanover, if I had any prospects, I would not give this kid a second (okay, 3rd) chance...but we know that both of those two facts are true. I think I'll see how the next encounter goes (if he isn't too embarrassed to see me again) and judge accordingly.
Sigh, one last little note that I HATE mentioning but will hopefully find funny sometime down the line. While we were having drinks we were talking about things and asked how he knew my Physics Friend on Facebook. He responded that he had gone home with her at some point recently. I ALMOST got up and walked out of the bar, because she is seriously repulsive (like, doesn't shave her armpits repulsive), and was the most sexually clueless person I had met until this kid. Even better, I recalled her actually telling me about her night with some kid who tried to have sex with her but couldn't "find the right hole". How did I remember this you might ask - well, he offered up that information freely. Yeah.
So this was obviously the undergrad from Saturday night, and I had a really good time with him, so I was looking forward to drinks. I picked him up, he was a little adorably awkward, but we had a nice chat over drinks, little hand-holding, all in all it was cute and made me feel smiley.
We get back to my place and we start making out on the couch and I suggest we go to the bedroom. It was pretty hot, so it made logical sense to rip off our clothes...yes...logical sense.
We're on the bed, kissed for maybe 5 minutes, and he pulls the "fucking you with his pointed finger" move. Now, I don't necessarily dislike this move, but it's a bit much to start off with. I sort of pull him off after a few minutes and he says "okay, should I put a condom on?" **Cue record scratch**. This sort of shit might be okay for a drunken late night hook-up, but this is a date, there should be some foreplay.
I said to him "um..no, you should definitely not get a condom..that was not enough warm up for me." He looks confused, so I said something like "do you...not..go down on girls?" He continues looking confused but says that he does...but makes no move towards doing it. I continue to push "well...would you go down on me?". He says okay, and begins to basically tongue fuck me, but he is having trouble breathing because he's...well..okay..too graphic, but it's clear he has no idea what he is doing. I pull him up and say "um...okay...that is not good." He responds with "well yeah, I'm just having a lot of trouble breathing." I said "well obviously because you're not doing it right..."
At this point I pause, there is a scary thought running through my mind - he can't possibly have never done this before..can he? As delicately as humanly possible I ask him "do you know where the clitoris is?"
His response was priceless - "yes, it's up inside you right? Where I was touching you before?"
...I...I never could have imagined that a 22 year old did not know where the clitoris was. At this point I had to decide if I was going to kick him out or attempt to do some teaching.
I picked the teacher option, and both made a little diagram with my hands and also showed him where he should be focusing his attention. We tried the oral sex thing again, and he was doing better. At least he was receptive to learning, but it's still really awkward because he both wants to learn and is acting a little stubborn.
At some point we move on to sex, and it was good but I realized this was because I was on top (as I was on Saturday). I decided to test the waters and see what he could do on top or from behind. It was a total disaster. He couldn't always figure out if he was in, he had no idea about rhythm, and it was clear that he didn't know how to position himself in such a manner that everything works.
Another problem that became more and more apparent is that he is on anti-depressant meds (which is fine) which (a) seem to make him slightly impotent and (b) cause him to need to pee every 20 minutes or so and he's too sensitive after he pees to even put pants on for 5 minutes or so. Weird side-effects...and definitely something that interferes with things.
So how did things end? I made him jerk himself off (something like a lesson in being comfortable around others), we cuddled and made out for a while afterwards, and I sent him home with a sex book and the instructions to "learn this shit in the week that I'm gone and MEMORIZE the section on oral sex for women. Seriously, memorize that shit."
If I were not in Hanover, if I had any prospects, I would not give this kid a second (okay, 3rd) chance...but we know that both of those two facts are true. I think I'll see how the next encounter goes (if he isn't too embarrassed to see me again) and judge accordingly.
Sigh, one last little note that I HATE mentioning but will hopefully find funny sometime down the line. While we were having drinks we were talking about things and asked how he knew my Physics Friend on Facebook. He responded that he had gone home with her at some point recently. I ALMOST got up and walked out of the bar, because she is seriously repulsive (like, doesn't shave her armpits repulsive), and was the most sexually clueless person I had met until this kid. Even better, I recalled her actually telling me about her night with some kid who tried to have sex with her but couldn't "find the right hole". How did I remember this you might ask - well, he offered up that information freely. Yeah.
Date Post 1 of 2 - The Most Awkward Guy Ever
So this is going to be out of order, but this date post is easier for me to write than the next one that is coming (which will change the way you think about life..and music).
I think I say this after every internet-originated date, but I think I'm done with online dating. I've been excited to go on a date with this guy for about 3 weeks, he looked really cute, had very funny and witty emails, was 32 and had a stable job as a software engineer (probably should have been my first clue, but I like not to judge on that).
The plan was to meet at 6 on the Dartmouth Green, take a walking tour of campus, see where things end up. We met at 6. He was....goofy. Not that his picture wasn't accurate, but the hair was lighter, he looked all 32 of his years, and he was wearing a ridiculous bright blue button down shirt, awkward khaki shorts and dark black sneakers...just....not so good looking.
We started on our walk, it was disgustingly hot out, and I could tell from the first 15 seconds that this would be terrible. He had absolutely nothing interesting to say. He works from home, doesn't appear to have any friends (when the only people you have to talk about are the retired teachers who live in your condominium, it's a bad sign), didn't seem to have any life goals, didn't really have much interest in travel, and clearly centered his life and activities around being alone. Um..have we met? This is the polar opposite of me in all the least complimentary ways.
We walked for 10 minutes, realized it was gross, went to grab a drink. The drink was...awkward, obviously, and the bartender kept cutting into our conversation (the cute bartender, who I should have gone back and asked out) which was nice but made it even more apparent that the guy next to me had nothing to contribute.
We each drank a beer (he ordered a Bud Light, always a bad sign), he suggested we continue our walk now that it was a little later, and I jumped at the option to get out of this situation. We walked out of the bar and he turned to me and said "I guess you can see that I'm pretty much a light weight, I am really feeling that Bud Light". I tried to hide my disdain, but like..ugh...you are THE WORST.
So I waited until we crossed the street (no awkward waiting at the light) and I basically said "ya know, I'm really not feeling like this is going to be a match. I really appreciate you driving all the way down here, but I am pretty social and talkative, and you seem pretty quiet and reserved."
He didn't have much to say, just said "thank you, it was nice to meet you" and we shock hands and I walked back to the office to get back to work. I felt bad leaving him when he was likely too drunk to drive, and on any other day I might have made another 30 minutes out of the date, but I had too much work to do to waste on this guy.
Okay, get ready for post #2.
I think I say this after every internet-originated date, but I think I'm done with online dating. I've been excited to go on a date with this guy for about 3 weeks, he looked really cute, had very funny and witty emails, was 32 and had a stable job as a software engineer (probably should have been my first clue, but I like not to judge on that).
The plan was to meet at 6 on the Dartmouth Green, take a walking tour of campus, see where things end up. We met at 6. He was....goofy. Not that his picture wasn't accurate, but the hair was lighter, he looked all 32 of his years, and he was wearing a ridiculous bright blue button down shirt, awkward khaki shorts and dark black sneakers...just....not so good looking.
We started on our walk, it was disgustingly hot out, and I could tell from the first 15 seconds that this would be terrible. He had absolutely nothing interesting to say. He works from home, doesn't appear to have any friends (when the only people you have to talk about are the retired teachers who live in your condominium, it's a bad sign), didn't seem to have any life goals, didn't really have much interest in travel, and clearly centered his life and activities around being alone. Um..have we met? This is the polar opposite of me in all the least complimentary ways.
We walked for 10 minutes, realized it was gross, went to grab a drink. The drink was...awkward, obviously, and the bartender kept cutting into our conversation (the cute bartender, who I should have gone back and asked out) which was nice but made it even more apparent that the guy next to me had nothing to contribute.
We each drank a beer (he ordered a Bud Light, always a bad sign), he suggested we continue our walk now that it was a little later, and I jumped at the option to get out of this situation. We walked out of the bar and he turned to me and said "I guess you can see that I'm pretty much a light weight, I am really feeling that Bud Light". I tried to hide my disdain, but like..ugh...you are THE WORST.
So I waited until we crossed the street (no awkward waiting at the light) and I basically said "ya know, I'm really not feeling like this is going to be a match. I really appreciate you driving all the way down here, but I am pretty social and talkative, and you seem pretty quiet and reserved."
He didn't have much to say, just said "thank you, it was nice to meet you" and we shock hands and I walked back to the office to get back to work. I felt bad leaving him when he was likely too drunk to drive, and on any other day I might have made another 30 minutes out of the date, but I had too much work to do to waste on this guy.
Okay, get ready for post #2.
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Move, More Undergrad Sex & 4th of July
This is going to be a long one..I was pretty damn busy these past few days.
**The Move**
So y'all read how Wednesday went, Thursday was a nice easy drive from VT to CT and we had some help in Cheshire loading up the Uhaul. Had a great meal that night, got another good night of rest, totally a wonderful little moment back home. Friday we drove up to NH, cleaned the condo from top to bottom, and then a couple of my friends came to help me move. We were planning to move the couch and tv on Saturday, but my Mom (who hours earlier had said "thank god we aren't doing this all in one day") decided it would be great to just get all the moving done, so we did all of it. It ended with a group of slap happy parents and friends, eating pizza at a Karaoke bar that is decorated to look like the inside of a cave. Good day. But seriously, it felt amazing to have everything here and in place, my parents and friends loved each other, and it went really smoothly.
It is a little frustrating that I can't do all the condo-owner-type things yet (like painting walls, installing shelves, etc), but I'll get there soon enough. Things seem to be moving along with the mortgage, so hopefully I can get them everything they need this week before I leave on Friday for camp.
Oh, and for those of you wondering, I LOVE living alone. I love showering with the door open, and cleaning the kitchen and knowing it will stay clean. Amazing.
**More Undergrad Sex**
Saturday was more unpacking, and then there was a huge party going on at The Vortex house (this is the house that always has parties, and somehow it's 5 am and I'm making out some with dude on a pool table - I have decided to officially name The Vortex). This was going to be my first night of needing to drive home from one of these parties, so somehow I figured it made sense to get really drunk really early so I could eventually drive. Yeah....
The middle of the night is blurry, but at some point I met a guy. From what I've been told, it didn't take long before we headed home together. And yes, it's not good that I'm this hazy, but we had a 15 minute walk back to his place and I totally sobered up during that walk, so it's not like I wasn't in control when we were back at his place.
So, here is where the story starts to get..embarrassing. We stumble back to his dorm. Yes, his dorm, he's a senior (he's 22, a year behind because he took some time off). So we had like 4 rounds of really amazing sex...in his twin bed...in his dorm room. At some point I had wandered to the all boys bathroom and had just a moment of "wow, what are you doing, silly girl". At least he isn't going to be in the class I am TAing next year...because I actually had to ask him.
Now this is where the story gets downright silly. We are sitting on sleeping bags on the floor (I got sick of the tiny bed), having fucked and talked and joked for like 4 hours, and I go to put his number in my phone. I have NO idea what his name is, so I tried to stall/ duck by trying to come up with a nickname for him, especially since I knew his name was on the door, so I figured I would just put him in as whatever and then figure out his name on the way out. Finally he was like "why are you stalling?" so I hit 2 twice, spelled out Aa, and got his number.
I didn't realize he could see over my shoulder. He asks "why am I in your phone as Alcoholics Anonymous? **pause** "and why is there more than one Aa in your phone?".
Ugh. He totally calls me on not having any idea what his name was, and it was just absolutely ridiculous. This is why his name will officially be "Aa Undergrad".
But, we got over that, went back to the party to pick up his phone, realized I left my phone at his place so went back to the dorm to get my phone, and I drove home. We made some vague plans about getting together on Tuesday.
I got home around 5 am that night and looked in the mirror. I have a hickey on the very front of my neck that is about the size of a fist and has ridiculous markings that I can't even describe but it looks absurd. I have never had a hickey, I did not realize how ridiculous they look and how difficult they are to cover up. My friends came over the next day and took one look at me and just started laughing. This MUST be cleared up by camp, and it would be really awesome if they could be cleared up for my date on Wednesday or Physical Therapy on Tuesday (when I will need to have my hair up).
So today (Monday) I had the following text conversation:
Me: Hi, drinks tomorrow?
Guy: Who is this?
Me: Sarah from Saturday night ;)
Guy: ...I think you have the wrong number...were you at RoVC?
OH NO! Either Aa Undergrad gave me the wrong number, or I was so embarrassed at the exchange that I somehow got his number wrong.
...so, since the sex was good, and he was really really cute, I wasn't quite ready to let this slide. I vaguely recalled where he lived, and my friend has an RA access card to all the dorms, so...we may have wandered through various undergraduate dorms until I found the correct door that had his name on it. From there I found him on Facebook and sent him an email saying something along the lines of "I have the wrong number or you gave me a fake number, if it's the former let's get a drink, if it's the later you can ignore this."
So flash forward to a few hours and I get an email back. I had texted the wrong Aa in my cell phone. I think I learned a lesson today.....stop being such a slut.
**July 4th**
I had SUCH a great 4th of July. The beach trip to Portsmith got canceled (fabulous), so I had everyone over for a pool party and Amurica Cake (yes, I made that ridiculous cake with blueberry stars and strawberry stripes). It was a perfect mix of good friends, beautiful weather, and lounging around on floats in the pool with a Sam Summer in my hand. At some point my parents came by with friends and it was just a really nice afternoon.
Much of that group broke off, so a few of us went to dinner at a pub, wandered around the Lebanon Green looking at adorable puppies and ridiculous fat kids in dunk tanks. We decided to find somewhere neat to watch the fireworks, so we settled on a swing set with a perfect view. It was really pretty awesome.
So that was my weekend. Back to the grind today with a crap-ton of work, but I made some progress on getting my abstract written for Friday, and I even wrong my first Excel Macro....bitches!
I will likely have some ridiculous update about a date tomorrow or Wednesday - so no worries, lots of fun stories.
**The Move**
So y'all read how Wednesday went, Thursday was a nice easy drive from VT to CT and we had some help in Cheshire loading up the Uhaul. Had a great meal that night, got another good night of rest, totally a wonderful little moment back home. Friday we drove up to NH, cleaned the condo from top to bottom, and then a couple of my friends came to help me move. We were planning to move the couch and tv on Saturday, but my Mom (who hours earlier had said "thank god we aren't doing this all in one day") decided it would be great to just get all the moving done, so we did all of it. It ended with a group of slap happy parents and friends, eating pizza at a Karaoke bar that is decorated to look like the inside of a cave. Good day. But seriously, it felt amazing to have everything here and in place, my parents and friends loved each other, and it went really smoothly.
It is a little frustrating that I can't do all the condo-owner-type things yet (like painting walls, installing shelves, etc), but I'll get there soon enough. Things seem to be moving along with the mortgage, so hopefully I can get them everything they need this week before I leave on Friday for camp.
Oh, and for those of you wondering, I LOVE living alone. I love showering with the door open, and cleaning the kitchen and knowing it will stay clean. Amazing.
**More Undergrad Sex**
Saturday was more unpacking, and then there was a huge party going on at The Vortex house (this is the house that always has parties, and somehow it's 5 am and I'm making out some with dude on a pool table - I have decided to officially name The Vortex). This was going to be my first night of needing to drive home from one of these parties, so somehow I figured it made sense to get really drunk really early so I could eventually drive. Yeah....
The middle of the night is blurry, but at some point I met a guy. From what I've been told, it didn't take long before we headed home together. And yes, it's not good that I'm this hazy, but we had a 15 minute walk back to his place and I totally sobered up during that walk, so it's not like I wasn't in control when we were back at his place.
So, here is where the story starts to get..embarrassing. We stumble back to his dorm. Yes, his dorm, he's a senior (he's 22, a year behind because he took some time off). So we had like 4 rounds of really amazing sex...in his twin bed...in his dorm room. At some point I had wandered to the all boys bathroom and had just a moment of "wow, what are you doing, silly girl". At least he isn't going to be in the class I am TAing next year...because I actually had to ask him.
Now this is where the story gets downright silly. We are sitting on sleeping bags on the floor (I got sick of the tiny bed), having fucked and talked and joked for like 4 hours, and I go to put his number in my phone. I have NO idea what his name is, so I tried to stall/ duck by trying to come up with a nickname for him, especially since I knew his name was on the door, so I figured I would just put him in as whatever and then figure out his name on the way out. Finally he was like "why are you stalling?" so I hit 2 twice, spelled out Aa, and got his number.
I didn't realize he could see over my shoulder. He asks "why am I in your phone as Alcoholics Anonymous? **pause** "and why is there more than one Aa in your phone?".
Ugh. He totally calls me on not having any idea what his name was, and it was just absolutely ridiculous. This is why his name will officially be "Aa Undergrad".
But, we got over that, went back to the party to pick up his phone, realized I left my phone at his place so went back to the dorm to get my phone, and I drove home. We made some vague plans about getting together on Tuesday.
I got home around 5 am that night and looked in the mirror. I have a hickey on the very front of my neck that is about the size of a fist and has ridiculous markings that I can't even describe but it looks absurd. I have never had a hickey, I did not realize how ridiculous they look and how difficult they are to cover up. My friends came over the next day and took one look at me and just started laughing. This MUST be cleared up by camp, and it would be really awesome if they could be cleared up for my date on Wednesday or Physical Therapy on Tuesday (when I will need to have my hair up).
So today (Monday) I had the following text conversation:
Me: Hi, drinks tomorrow?
Guy: Who is this?
Me: Sarah from Saturday night ;)
Guy: ...I think you have the wrong number...were you at RoVC?
OH NO! Either Aa Undergrad gave me the wrong number, or I was so embarrassed at the exchange that I somehow got his number wrong.
...so, since the sex was good, and he was really really cute, I wasn't quite ready to let this slide. I vaguely recalled where he lived, and my friend has an RA access card to all the dorms, so...we may have wandered through various undergraduate dorms until I found the correct door that had his name on it. From there I found him on Facebook and sent him an email saying something along the lines of "I have the wrong number or you gave me a fake number, if it's the former let's get a drink, if it's the later you can ignore this."
So flash forward to a few hours and I get an email back. I had texted the wrong Aa in my cell phone. I think I learned a lesson today.....stop being such a slut.
**July 4th**
I had SUCH a great 4th of July. The beach trip to Portsmith got canceled (fabulous), so I had everyone over for a pool party and Amurica Cake (yes, I made that ridiculous cake with blueberry stars and strawberry stripes). It was a perfect mix of good friends, beautiful weather, and lounging around on floats in the pool with a Sam Summer in my hand. At some point my parents came by with friends and it was just a really nice afternoon.
Much of that group broke off, so a few of us went to dinner at a pub, wandered around the Lebanon Green looking at adorable puppies and ridiculous fat kids in dunk tanks. We decided to find somewhere neat to watch the fireworks, so we settled on a swing set with a perfect view. It was really pretty awesome.
So that was my weekend. Back to the grind today with a crap-ton of work, but I made some progress on getting my abstract written for Friday, and I even wrong my first Excel Macro....bitches!
I will likely have some ridiculous update about a date tomorrow or Wednesday - so no worries, lots of fun stories.
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