Some of you are no doubt expecting me to write about the date I was debating going on Friday afternoon. Well, I am sorry to disappoint, but for the first time in my life, I may have made the smart decision.
Below is the email exchange that occurred between me and the guy I was supposed to go on a date with (named The Creeper) - with some annotations. I was trying to paraphrase what was "creepy" about him, but I think reading his emails is the best way to understand how he was deceptive in his creeper-ness.
Creeper: Hi. How are you doing tonight? I enjoyed reading your profile and would love to learn more. Any plans? Would you like to talk and maybe meet?
****So his profile actually looked pretty good. He was cute, appropriately aged, a little far away (about 45 minutes), said he was a professor at a local college, and had an amusing enough profile. He also wrote in his "ideal date" section that he didn't believe in lots of emailing and texting back and forth, because you can't really tell anything until you meet, so sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith. Part of me really appreciates this, because I think it's annoying to have these nerds chat with me for weeks and then find they can't speak a word in person. Plus, I liked the spontaneity of just making a date 3 hours from then and meeting someone new.
Me: Hi, I'm doing pretty well actually - sort of the most beautiful day ever, right? And who can be unhappy on a Friday? So I saw that you don't believe in chatting before an in-person meeting, but Salisbury is a bit far away. Can I ask where and what you teach? And where would we meet up?
Creeper: I teach Poetry and other courses at a local college, I could drive to you to meet:)
Me: Are you suggesting we go on a date tonight?
Creeper: We can go out or just go for a walk, or just hang on the porch with a 6-pack or a dvd, anything?:)
Me: Hmmm...I am curious what sort of girl would invite a perfect strange over to her home to watch a dvd....but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. How about drinks at 8? Do you know Hanover at all or should I pick a meeting spot?
Creeper: I know hanover well, so much for a 6 pack and a deck like you wrote about ha-ha. what are you thinking, a bar and beers?
Me: Bar and beers sounds pretty good to me. I actually live in Lebanon - so how does Salt Hill Pub in Lebanon sound?
Creeper: sounds good
Me: Great. I'll see you at 8. If you have any problems (or can't find me at the bar), my number is XXX-XXX-XXXX.
Creeper: okay sounds great
@7:20 (recall date is at 8)
Creeper: hey, are yuou there? I cannot make 8
Me: I am here. What time can you make?
Creeper: 9ish, sorry I forgot I had to let my friends dogs out tonight while he was out on a date.
Me: Okay, well how about we plan to meet up at 9:15? Call me at 9 if it's going to be much later?
Creeper: sorry, are you at the bar still? do you know people there? did you want to meet somelplace else?
***Now this is a really strange response to my email I think. Why would that be his response? Why would I want to meet someplace else because he is late?
Me: Oh no I'm home. I'm like 5 minutes from the bar, so I won't leave until 8:55.
Creeper: ill email you when I leave then add 40 mins :)
Me: Perfect, I was hoping you would do something like that.
Creeper: I hope that is a phrase you use a good deal to night;)
***Did this seem to come out of nowhere? Also, copying and pasting all these makes me realize he ended EVERY FUCKING SENTENCE with a smiley face. Ugh.
Creeper: Hey, almost ready to come up, I just realized I don't know much about you, do you live up here with family? roommates? Do you work on the weekends, or just study? are you liberal, wild or conservative?
Me: Wait, this from the guy who "is old fashioned and doesn't believe in emailing, etc"?
I thought it was about faith ;) Are you loosing yours?
Creeper: No, can I be honest? Had a busy week, and want to meet you like no get out, but not a big bar guy, will meet at the bar for safety, sure, but was slyly seeing if after a beer or two we could go relax somewhere and talk san's drunk people, maybe watch a movie, just seeing if it is possible or if you just wanted a date with a few beers, then were wanting to go replay the date and study it with your psychology brain lol
***What? "like no get out". "replay the date with your psychology brain lol"? What?
Me: So, honestly, you're sort of coming off as a creeper at this point. I recognize that you would be driving a ways to get here, but I think you would have stood a better chance coming home with me had you asked once we had met. Also, it wasn't exactly smooth to slip in "does this chick live alone" with some other questions. I saw through it. At this point, I'm creeped out and annoyed you haven't left yet. Forget it, I don't want to meet you tonight or at any other point.
Creeper: I understand what you are saying, and knew the possibility of this response, and was not asking for a "will she get with me" question or response, but just wanted to see if my hopes would be OK I saw your profile said you made this in the early spring, so got scared why you, a cute and smart woman, had not met anyone, so I thought, she must live with crazzies or be a size 16 or is psyco christian or reads too much into dates. All guys think this, I just asked before I drove 45 mins and left my dogs home alone for the night, so that I could have my buddy return the favor and walk and feed my dogs in the morn if all went perfect with us. So, I understand your appreehansion, as a former datmouth Grad and a guest prof, I wish you luck in your program, and if you see fit to give me a second chance, I will be here waiting for a your kindness, Yours in regret.
Creeper: I'm really sorry, again.
So, I think I can conclusively say it was the right choice for me not to meet this guy. It was so creepily transparent the way he tried to manipulate me by being late - was he expecting me to think "oh nos! I'm stuck at the bar and he's running late - maybe I'll be drunk and desperate to leave by the time he gets here!"
Also, again, it was creepy the way he was trying to figure out if I lived alone and maybe even if I would be expected to be anywhere on Saturday (do you work on weekend? he asked). It scares me that some girl might be stupid enough to just give this rapist her address and tell him to come on by and watch a movie.
So, I don't know, mayhaps I was over-reacting, but I went on pof.com today and this guy took down his profile. I want to believe that online dating website are only filled with awful hicks and nerds with poor social skills, it makes me really concerned that it could also be filled with dangerous people. Lesson learned perhaps.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I'm not making this up
I was sitting at my desk today, minding my own business, when I received the following, unprovoked email from The Child. I am fairly confidant the person he is discussing in the second paragraph is the RA in my lab who I was talking to before I saw him on Sunday.
P.S. Bonus points to anyone who can actually explain what the fuck he is talking about! This is someone who will graduate with a degree from Dartmouth!! What?!?
"Oh yeah! I completely remember who you were talking about on Sunday. I don't remember her name now but it didn't exactly seem, at the end of my interaction with her, like it would be worth my while to. This was on the Saturday of Fieldstock weekend and it was a bad, bad day for me mentally (The only day of comparable shittiness was earlier on the one that you drove by. Both days were about Random Girl Name 2.)
As I talked to her I was struck by how nothing coming out of my mouth was imaginative or inspired. I thought that maybe something would (it usually does at some point) and was wary of indications that it might be time to quit. She definitely gave me one, but prior to that nothing. The only thing resembling a clue was an absence of encouraging signs, and I'm pretty sure I didn't talk to her for very long. I had definitely irritated her, though what idiotic thing I might have said to do this I couldn't figure out at the time. I suppose it was the fact that she was stuck there, trying to read (She said she was reading light stuff and waiting for a patient), and I was beginning to have a conversation with myself. I suppose she could have told me she wanted to read her book which isn't all that different than what she actually said but no I don't suppose I gave her much choice between my unwelcome talking and being rude. She had only just stopped contributing to a dialogue a little before telling me, through her tone, to fuck off. I made the additional mistake of adding, on my way out, that it was nice talking to her. I didn't say it to irritate her more.
I am sorry this was embarrassing for you. I'm sorry if this ruined her day. I haven't made such a shitty pickup attempt since my first term back from the year I spent at home, but I've noticed that when I rarely ever make them I tend to care and think too much, and they usually turn out as annoying as that. I wasn't consciously trying to use your friend. I wanted, more than anything, just to talk to someone, and no it wouldn't have hurt (it seemed) that that person be a girl. As banal or juvenile as the stuff I said was, I didn't say anything I said insincerely. I was deeply predisposed then to recklessness and impulsivity. I am a talker. That is a huge part of what I have to offer socially and I try to be as conscientious as I can about offering it to people whom it doesn't aggravate. I can't exist socially without being who I am though I still have time to change some before reaching 25.
Anyways, I'm sorry again for acting like an idiot. It was definitely the result of a personal crisis and a one-time throwback to behavior I had left behind up until then.
Something else I probably should explain was my asking you in the car whether the person whom I had alienated was a Random Girl 3. I threw her name out there because she was the only girl in my Shakespeare CLASS whom I had talked to in a month last week in fact. It ended with her suggesting hanging out at Murphy's. The other reason I thought it might be her was because she frequented the same circles you did. I've encountered her at NAME's house a couple of times."
P.S. Bonus points to anyone who can actually explain what the fuck he is talking about! This is someone who will graduate with a degree from Dartmouth!! What?!?
"Oh yeah! I completely remember who you were talking about on Sunday. I don't remember her name now but it didn't exactly seem, at the end of my interaction with her, like it would be worth my while to. This was on the Saturday of Fieldstock weekend and it was a bad, bad day for me mentally (The only day of comparable shittiness was earlier on the one that you drove by. Both days were about Random Girl Name 2.)
As I talked to her I was struck by how nothing coming out of my mouth was imaginative or inspired. I thought that maybe something would (it usually does at some point) and was wary of indications that it might be time to quit. She definitely gave me one, but prior to that nothing. The only thing resembling a clue was an absence of encouraging signs, and I'm pretty sure I didn't talk to her for very long. I had definitely irritated her, though what idiotic thing I might have said to do this I couldn't figure out at the time. I suppose it was the fact that she was stuck there, trying to read (She said she was reading light stuff and waiting for a patient), and I was beginning to have a conversation with myself. I suppose she could have told me she wanted to read her book which isn't all that different than what she actually said but no I don't suppose I gave her much choice between my unwelcome talking and being rude. She had only just stopped contributing to a dialogue a little before telling me, through her tone, to fuck off. I made the additional mistake of adding, on my way out, that it was nice talking to her. I didn't say it to irritate her more.
I am sorry this was embarrassing for you. I'm sorry if this ruined her day. I haven't made such a shitty pickup attempt since my first term back from the year I spent at home, but I've noticed that when I rarely ever make them I tend to care and think too much, and they usually turn out as annoying as that. I wasn't consciously trying to use your friend. I wanted, more than anything, just to talk to someone, and no it wouldn't have hurt (it seemed) that that person be a girl. As banal or juvenile as the stuff I said was, I didn't say anything I said insincerely. I was deeply predisposed then to recklessness and impulsivity. I am a talker. That is a huge part of what I have to offer socially and I try to be as conscientious as I can about offering it to people whom it doesn't aggravate. I can't exist socially without being who I am though I still have time to change some before reaching 25.
Anyways, I'm sorry again for acting like an idiot. It was definitely the result of a personal crisis and a one-time throwback to behavior I had left behind up until then.
Something else I probably should explain was my asking you in the car whether the person whom I had alienated was a Random Girl 3. I threw her name out there because she was the only girl in my Shakespeare CLASS whom I had talked to in a month last week in fact. It ended with her suggesting hanging out at Murphy's. The other reason I thought it might be her was because she frequented the same circles you did. I've encountered her at NAME's house a couple of times."
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
This is, for sure, a new low
I'm almost embarrassed to write this post....think about all the past things I have happily reported...
Today was the finish line of the 2 weeks my friends and I have waited, anxiously, for the arrival of......a new sandwich at Denny's.
Yes, that's right, we have spent 2 weeks discussing, planning, and obsessing about a new sandwich at Denny's.
This morning, 3 of us actually were neurotic enough that we needed to call into Denny's to make sure that, indeed, the sandwich would be making its arrival today.
Now granted, this is a really amazing creation - 4 extra long mozzarella sticks cooked inside a cheesy, buttery grilled cheese sandwich. With fries.
Pure bliss.
This is also the day I decided to restart my calorie counting activities (now that I have been given permission by my doctor to run a mile 3 x week I actually care slightly more about not being a fatty fat fat). Smart decisions all around!
Today was the finish line of the 2 weeks my friends and I have waited, anxiously, for the arrival of......a new sandwich at Denny's.
Yes, that's right, we have spent 2 weeks discussing, planning, and obsessing about a new sandwich at Denny's.
This morning, 3 of us actually were neurotic enough that we needed to call into Denny's to make sure that, indeed, the sandwich would be making its arrival today.
Now granted, this is a really amazing creation - 4 extra long mozzarella sticks cooked inside a cheesy, buttery grilled cheese sandwich. With fries.
Pure bliss.
This is also the day I decided to restart my calorie counting activities (now that I have been given permission by my doctor to run a mile 3 x week I actually care slightly more about not being a fatty fat fat). Smart decisions all around!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Meeting with The Child = I get punched in the boob
Sigh....The Child is such an idiot, and I'm such an idiot too.
Last night while I was scanning with an RA (who is leaving on Wednesday) I mentioned this whole episode and she was like "wait, is he tall, brown hair, super awkward...show me a picture!". Turns out he almost picked her up in a coffee shop last week. That's a dealbreaker for me.
I made insurance plans with said RA to get dinner so I wouldn't be able to do anything more than meet up with The Child at his dorm, get my book back, and say peace out.
So we had arranged for me to pick him up outside his dorm at 8 pm. Me being me, I was 6 minutes early but called anyway. He didn't pick up. I wait, keep calling, decide to throw it in at 8:10 but then he calls me.
We are having some sort of reception issue but I can make out "I have friends staying in my place...no phone reception...friends...hi".
I say something like "I have no idea what you are talking about, but I'm annoyed that I had to wait, it's gross and rainy out, and I honestly have been totally unsure about this anyway, so I'm just going to go".
He of course panics, tries to get reception, asks me to wait so he can come down and talk to me for a minute. I acquiesce because I want my damn book back.
He comes down, sits in the car, and we begin a very awkward and entirely too blunt conversation.
Me: Look, you're really cute and adorable, which is why I even agreed to meet up with you, but I think you're just too young and a bit inexperienced. Also, I've heard from some people that you've been basically picking up anything that walks, which is absolutely what you should be doing at your age, but not really something I am interested in.
The Child: Wait, what, who are these other girls. Are you talking about Insert Random Girl Name 1? Or Insert Random Girl Name 2? Or Insert Random Girl Name 3? Because I really haven't been with anyone since I was with you.
Me: Okay well, whatever, maybe you've just been attempting to pick up a lot of girls, and again, you're just a little young.
The Child: Well, I was with Random Girl Name 2 for like.. a month...seeing her..sort of. She was the girl I've wanted to date for a while. But then she stopped answering my calls. Maybe I was sort of reacting to that and asking people out, but I really haven't been with anyone but her since I was with you.
Me: Look, maybe this is too blunt, but I sort of saw this working as a casual sex sort of deal because I am so incredibly busy...and honestly....it's just too much effort to make that work with you. (Pause - he looks crushed) I'm sorry, that was too blunt.
The Child: No look, I understand, the same thing that happened with you happened with Random Girl Name 2, and I think that is why she stopped answering my calls. But, I've been working to fix my medications and I think it should be fixed. I haven't tried it out yet, but...maybe....you and I.....(yes, he is basically at this point asking me to be his sexual guinea pig to see if his medications are now allowing him to not be a horror in bed). I really want to work things out with Random Girl Number 2, but I don't know how to explain to her what I just told you, because she's not responding.
Me: Well, have you tried telling her exactly what you told me? And that you have been reading up on things?
(Yes, at this point I have slipped even more into his sexual/relationship advice therapist)
The Child: No, I don't really know how to do that. (Long Pause). Either way, I know you think I'm cute, we don't have to have sex tonight, but maybe you just want to hang out? No wait, I know you don't hang out (YES, he just implied I am a slutbag who only takes people home to fuck).
Me: Cutting him off at this point..look, tonight is not good, I'm exhausted from work and it's gross out and I'm still slightly annoyed. (This is where I make the big mistake). How about this, let's revisit this in a week or two when I'm less stressed out by work?
The Child: Okay, that sounds like a good idea.
***At this point he gives me a little joking punch in the upper arm that lands in my armpit***
Me: Did you just..punch my arm?
The Child: No, I punched your armpit.
*** At this point, he reaches over and punches me in the boob***
Me: Get out of my car.
The child makes no motion to move, and just sits there grinning.
Me: Okay so, I really am going to take off. I will touch base with you next week or when you are back for fall term.
The Child: Okay that sounds good. Can I keep the book?
Me: No, now get out.
So I know this is definitely not a victory, but in some ways this is sort of what I wanted. I am totally not interested in him right now for various reasons, but I like the idea of keeping some sex in the back pocket in case I get desperate as the fall term starts. Never hurts right?
But I also know this was pathetic. Can I blame it on how adorable he is and how good he smells? No...okay fine....I just suck. You are right KP ;)
Last night while I was scanning with an RA (who is leaving on Wednesday) I mentioned this whole episode and she was like "wait, is he tall, brown hair, super awkward...show me a picture!". Turns out he almost picked her up in a coffee shop last week. That's a dealbreaker for me.
I made insurance plans with said RA to get dinner so I wouldn't be able to do anything more than meet up with The Child at his dorm, get my book back, and say peace out.
So we had arranged for me to pick him up outside his dorm at 8 pm. Me being me, I was 6 minutes early but called anyway. He didn't pick up. I wait, keep calling, decide to throw it in at 8:10 but then he calls me.
We are having some sort of reception issue but I can make out "I have friends staying in my place...no phone reception...friends...hi".
I say something like "I have no idea what you are talking about, but I'm annoyed that I had to wait, it's gross and rainy out, and I honestly have been totally unsure about this anyway, so I'm just going to go".
He of course panics, tries to get reception, asks me to wait so he can come down and talk to me for a minute. I acquiesce because I want my damn book back.
He comes down, sits in the car, and we begin a very awkward and entirely too blunt conversation.
Me: Look, you're really cute and adorable, which is why I even agreed to meet up with you, but I think you're just too young and a bit inexperienced. Also, I've heard from some people that you've been basically picking up anything that walks, which is absolutely what you should be doing at your age, but not really something I am interested in.
The Child: Wait, what, who are these other girls. Are you talking about Insert Random Girl Name 1? Or Insert Random Girl Name 2? Or Insert Random Girl Name 3? Because I really haven't been with anyone since I was with you.
Me: Okay well, whatever, maybe you've just been attempting to pick up a lot of girls, and again, you're just a little young.
The Child: Well, I was with Random Girl Name 2 for like.. a month...seeing her..sort of. She was the girl I've wanted to date for a while. But then she stopped answering my calls. Maybe I was sort of reacting to that and asking people out, but I really haven't been with anyone but her since I was with you.
Me: Look, maybe this is too blunt, but I sort of saw this working as a casual sex sort of deal because I am so incredibly busy...and honestly....it's just too much effort to make that work with you. (Pause - he looks crushed) I'm sorry, that was too blunt.
The Child: No look, I understand, the same thing that happened with you happened with Random Girl Name 2, and I think that is why she stopped answering my calls. But, I've been working to fix my medications and I think it should be fixed. I haven't tried it out yet, but...maybe....you and I.....(yes, he is basically at this point asking me to be his sexual guinea pig to see if his medications are now allowing him to not be a horror in bed). I really want to work things out with Random Girl Number 2, but I don't know how to explain to her what I just told you, because she's not responding.
Me: Well, have you tried telling her exactly what you told me? And that you have been reading up on things?
(Yes, at this point I have slipped even more into his sexual/relationship advice therapist)
The Child: No, I don't really know how to do that. (Long Pause). Either way, I know you think I'm cute, we don't have to have sex tonight, but maybe you just want to hang out? No wait, I know you don't hang out (YES, he just implied I am a slutbag who only takes people home to fuck).
Me: Cutting him off at this point..look, tonight is not good, I'm exhausted from work and it's gross out and I'm still slightly annoyed. (This is where I make the big mistake). How about this, let's revisit this in a week or two when I'm less stressed out by work?
The Child: Okay, that sounds like a good idea.
***At this point he gives me a little joking punch in the upper arm that lands in my armpit***
Me: Did you just..punch my arm?
The Child: No, I punched your armpit.
*** At this point, he reaches over and punches me in the boob***
Me: Get out of my car.
The child makes no motion to move, and just sits there grinning.
Me: Okay so, I really am going to take off. I will touch base with you next week or when you are back for fall term.
The Child: Okay that sounds good. Can I keep the book?
Me: No, now get out.
So I know this is definitely not a victory, but in some ways this is sort of what I wanted. I am totally not interested in him right now for various reasons, but I like the idea of keeping some sex in the back pocket in case I get desperate as the fall term starts. Never hurts right?
But I also know this was pathetic. Can I blame it on how adorable he is and how good he smells? No...okay fine....I just suck. You are right KP ;)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The Best Laid Plans
So this weekend can be characterized by the fact that sometimes very good plans do not work out, and sometimes very bad plans do work out.
Friday night I had no plans, then KP said she wanted to "eat food outside". Sounds good. We commandeered our friends home / grill (aka invited ourselves over), and ended up having a fantastic time. Delicious grillables, cold beer, watching someone put OUT a fire with gasoline, fights with GIGANTIC marshmallows and sitting around a campfire giggling. Perfection.
Saturday was going to be the bestest day ever. I had thought out every possible aspect of the tubing trip for the day, and the bunch of us were going to do that, head to a bbq that we would only be 30 minutes late for, and then spend the evening playing night games.
Reality check.
We get to the river and it is (a) cold and cloudy and (b) looking pretty low in terms of river height. But we were there! We had already hilariously strapped 5 giant inner-tubes to a car! We had a cooler full of beer! It was all worked out! So we must push ahead.
Flash forward to the end of the trip. Everyone is freezing and those with 0% body fat have blue lips and are shivering. We are all exhausted from hours of paddling and kicking because there wasn't enough current to propel us down the river. Our feet are dying from walking over sharp and unfriendly rocks at the lowest points. Everyone has some bump or open wound from getting pounded against rocks. The cooler is long gone and lost (with my shoes in it). Oh, and we don't really have any idea how to figure out where we parked our car. Miraculously we got out of the river at the correct time, called our friend to explain why we would be 2.5 hours late, raced home to take warm showers, bundled up, and headed to the bbq.
Okay..actually...everyone ended up having a pretty good time tubing despite all the awful and ridiculous. Something about jackass friends laughing at the misery of others.
The bbq was really nice, Awkward Jesus made an amazing beef brisket, and it was nice to meet a new graduate students and an RA in various lab. Actually, it was better than nice, it was awesome to see that the new graduate student in a lab that is traditionally filled with jerks is (a) awesome and (b) also seems to dislike the other people in his lab. He also has a really cool wife and they are both great cooks. I know it seems silly, but in such a tiny program, every new person can either make things much better or really drag it all down.
After the bbq we learned there was an ice cream shop named Whippy Dips (Whippy Dicks? Dipple Whippy? Cocksickle? All other hilarious iterations!). Ice cream = happy, we watched a League of Their Own, and called it an adventurous and fun Saturday. Done.
And today, Sunday, I spent much of it curled on the couch after my first real night of sleep in weeks and now I am in the lab scanning subjects (per usual). Also, tonight I am going to meet up with The Child and make a gametime decision to either take him home and fuck him or get my sex book back and tell him that I just don't think this is going to work out. It's tough, because he has no redeeming qualities, but I'm also pretty horny. So..um...I'll let you know how it works out?
Friday night I had no plans, then KP said she wanted to "eat food outside". Sounds good. We commandeered our friends home / grill (aka invited ourselves over), and ended up having a fantastic time. Delicious grillables, cold beer, watching someone put OUT a fire with gasoline, fights with GIGANTIC marshmallows and sitting around a campfire giggling. Perfection.
Saturday was going to be the bestest day ever. I had thought out every possible aspect of the tubing trip for the day, and the bunch of us were going to do that, head to a bbq that we would only be 30 minutes late for, and then spend the evening playing night games.
Reality check.
We get to the river and it is (a) cold and cloudy and (b) looking pretty low in terms of river height. But we were there! We had already hilariously strapped 5 giant inner-tubes to a car! We had a cooler full of beer! It was all worked out! So we must push ahead.
Flash forward to the end of the trip. Everyone is freezing and those with 0% body fat have blue lips and are shivering. We are all exhausted from hours of paddling and kicking because there wasn't enough current to propel us down the river. Our feet are dying from walking over sharp and unfriendly rocks at the lowest points. Everyone has some bump or open wound from getting pounded against rocks. The cooler is long gone and lost (with my shoes in it). Oh, and we don't really have any idea how to figure out where we parked our car. Miraculously we got out of the river at the correct time, called our friend to explain why we would be 2.5 hours late, raced home to take warm showers, bundled up, and headed to the bbq.
Okay..actually...everyone ended up having a pretty good time tubing despite all the awful and ridiculous. Something about jackass friends laughing at the misery of others.
The bbq was really nice, Awkward Jesus made an amazing beef brisket, and it was nice to meet a new graduate students and an RA in various lab. Actually, it was better than nice, it was awesome to see that the new graduate student in a lab that is traditionally filled with jerks is (a) awesome and (b) also seems to dislike the other people in his lab. He also has a really cool wife and they are both great cooks. I know it seems silly, but in such a tiny program, every new person can either make things much better or really drag it all down.
After the bbq we learned there was an ice cream shop named Whippy Dips (Whippy Dicks? Dipple Whippy? Cocksickle? All other hilarious iterations!). Ice cream = happy, we watched a League of Their Own, and called it an adventurous and fun Saturday. Done.
And today, Sunday, I spent much of it curled on the couch after my first real night of sleep in weeks and now I am in the lab scanning subjects (per usual). Also, tonight I am going to meet up with The Child and make a gametime decision to either take him home and fuck him or get my sex book back and tell him that I just don't think this is going to work out. It's tough, because he has no redeeming qualities, but I'm also pretty horny. So..um...I'll let you know how it works out?
Friday, August 20, 2010
Yes, Another Dating Website Related Post
I'm sorry if these are annoying, but I keep getting such ridiculously terrible stuff, I feel compelled to share.
The Latest
Subject: Hello.
Email Text: luv ya
Profile of 45 year old who sent me said email:
Hi. I'm looking for a lasting treasure; not just a moment's pleasure.
I'm the last of my species: An old-fashioned, hopeless romantic, who's seeking
a love that burns like fire...and moonlight. Where are you? When will we meet?
Take my unfinished life, and make it complete. I've seen your smile, in a
thousand dreams; felt your touch, and it always seems...you'll love me.
I enjoy reading the classics (The Scarlet Letter being my favorite),
going out to the movies (Titanic; Somewhere in Time; The Lake House,
and The Bridges of Madison County being my most treasured),
going out to dinner, long walks, and cuddling.
If you do not live within close proximity to me, please do not let that
be an impediment to our getting to know one another. As Romeo said to
Juliet, "With love's lights wings did I over-perch these walls;
for stony limits cannot hold out love."
I love: A bubble bath for two; my feet in the sand, and the sun on my face;
a woman with gentle, unguarded eyes; when it starts to rain just as the
picnic is ending; the smell of a great perfume; soft kisses; falling
madly in love.
Take a chance on me! You have nothing to lose but your last name!
The Latest
Subject: Hello.
Email Text: luv ya
Profile of 45 year old who sent me said email:
Hi. I'm looking for a lasting treasure; not just a moment's pleasure.
I'm the last of my species: An old-fashioned, hopeless romantic, who's seeking
a love that burns like fire...and moonlight. Where are you? When will we meet?
Take my unfinished life, and make it complete. I've seen your smile, in a
thousand dreams; felt your touch, and it always seems...you'll love me.
I enjoy reading the classics (The Scarlet Letter being my favorite),
going out to the movies (Titanic; Somewhere in Time; The Lake House,
and The Bridges of Madison County being my most treasured),
going out to dinner, long walks, and cuddling.
If you do not live within close proximity to me, please do not let that
be an impediment to our getting to know one another. As Romeo said to
Juliet, "With love's lights wings did I over-perch these walls;
for stony limits cannot hold out love."
I love: A bubble bath for two; my feet in the sand, and the sun on my face;
a woman with gentle, unguarded eyes; when it starts to rain just as the
picnic is ending; the smell of a great perfume; soft kisses; falling
madly in love.
Take a chance on me! You have nothing to lose but your last name!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Call Me a Snob..but (added more)
I keep getting these amazing dating website emails and I'm almost stunned at the quality of this email. I recognize I have a lot of typos and run on sentences in my blog, but I could never accomplish something like this:
Hello how are you my name is NAME and all start by telling you some things about me I guess this is how this dating site works I’m new to it, well I have no kids I work full time as a local truck driver its hard work but it pays well. Something’s I like to do well I like righting poems and music I do record it but its just for fun I don’t make money on it and I also do video editing also as a hobby and taken pics as well. I’m on this site because id like to make new friends or to meet someone special im not into rushing things. well that’s enough for now if your interested in knowing anymore about me send me a message back and lets chat if you have yahoo messenger you can send me a message as well on there or you can just message me here ether way is good my screen name is NAME well take care bye bye
I thought about highlighting the problems....but that would take away all the fun from you.
Update: Someone else pointed out his profile which included the following to the prompt "What would you do on a first date?":
"the first date would be the most nerves for me anyway thinking douse this girl like me or not. id like to start around noon on the first date ether go site seeing or out for lunch or dinner and got to have a movie or go bowling play pool or what ever we would find entertaining"
Hello how are you my name is NAME and all start by telling you some things about me I guess this is how this dating site works I’m new to it, well I have no kids I work full time as a local truck driver its hard work but it pays well. Something’s I like to do well I like righting poems and music I do record it but its just for fun I don’t make money on it and I also do video editing also as a hobby and taken pics as well. I’m on this site because id like to make new friends or to meet someone special im not into rushing things. well that’s enough for now if your interested in knowing anymore about me send me a message back and lets chat if you have yahoo messenger you can send me a message as well on there or you can just message me here ether way is good my screen name is NAME well take care bye bye
I thought about highlighting the problems....but that would take away all the fun from you.
Update: Someone else pointed out his profile which included the following to the prompt "What would you do on a first date?":
"the first date would be the most nerves for me anyway thinking douse this girl like me or not. id like to start around noon on the first date ether go site seeing or out for lunch or dinner and got to have a movie or go bowling play pool or what ever we would find entertaining"
Monday, August 16, 2010
Per Request
Here is a ridiculous plenty of fish email / profile that caused Megan to spit out her water while reading.
Username: Hotfirefighter.
Email: hi, how are you doing? im doing alright i figured i would stop by and say hi and see how you were doing and wondering if you would like to talk more. well i hope to here back from you. ill ttyl
Profile: im like to do almost everything. i listen to all diff kinds of music. my hobbies very on what im in the mood to do. i keep my self busy on my spear time. i very easy going and active. i like spending alot of time outside if i can. love going to the beach. i do have pics if you would like to see feel free to ask me.
...If the awkward conversation email doesn't get you, the fantastical profile will.
Also, some have asked so I will update on The Child.
After the ridiculous phone calls on Friday night, we had the following email exchange:
The Child: are you still free for meeting up tomorrow?
Me: Hi, I'm sorry but I hadn't heard from you and my boss was pressuring me to help run more subjects this week. So, now I'm running subjects tomorrow and Wednesday, parents are coming Thursday, and it's my friend's birthday party on Friday. Sometime next week? Sorry - my schedule gets crazy really quickly!
The Child: No sweat! See you next week maybe.
Me: (feeling bad) Sounds good. I have a friend coming in Sunday, but I don't think she is staying past Monday, so I'll let you know a good night as soon as I do.
The Child: Sounds like a plan. Stan.
I know..I know.. I should cut this off. But, he emailed me again today to see if I could see him this week. I must admit, it's sort of adorable..he's trying so hard!
Also, I think everyone here is wondering if he read / learned from the sex book.
Will keep ya'll posted - now back to hanging out with Megan. Because Megan is here!! Megan!
Username: Hotfirefighter.
Email: hi, how are you doing? im doing alright i figured i would stop by and say hi and see how you were doing and wondering if you would like to talk more. well i hope to here back from you. ill ttyl
Profile: im like to do almost everything. i listen to all diff kinds of music. my hobbies very on what im in the mood to do. i keep my self busy on my spear time. i very easy going and active. i like spending alot of time outside if i can. love going to the beach. i do have pics if you would like to see feel free to ask me.
...If the awkward conversation email doesn't get you, the fantastical profile will.
Also, some have asked so I will update on The Child.
After the ridiculous phone calls on Friday night, we had the following email exchange:
The Child: are you still free for meeting up tomorrow?
Me: Hi, I'm sorry but I hadn't heard from you and my boss was pressuring me to help run more subjects this week. So, now I'm running subjects tomorrow and Wednesday, parents are coming Thursday, and it's my friend's birthday party on Friday. Sometime next week? Sorry - my schedule gets crazy really quickly!
The Child: No sweat! See you next week maybe.
Me: (feeling bad) Sounds good. I have a friend coming in Sunday, but I don't think she is staying past Monday, so I'll let you know a good night as soon as I do.
The Child: Sounds like a plan. Stan.
I know..I know.. I should cut this off. But, he emailed me again today to see if I could see him this week. I must admit, it's sort of adorable..he's trying so hard!
Also, I think everyone here is wondering if he read / learned from the sex book.
Will keep ya'll posted - now back to hanging out with Megan. Because Megan is here!! Megan!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
The Week in Review
So I'm sitting here scanning on Saturday afternoon, and I have absolutely not idea what I did this week..but perhaps I will try to recap.
It was a semi-productive work week for me, making it the MOST productive week I have had all summer. I am starting to make some strides on my next big study, so that feels exciting that my ideas are not retarded, they fit very nicely with my adviser, and I have some ability to say I I belong here. Might. That being said, my fall term is shaping up to be absolutely crazytown..so I am trying to brace myself now and get done what I can.
Fun stuff this week - Wednesday night I attended the most amazing event ever in the history of amazing - a grilled cheese themed evening with the most absurd and ridiculously delicious things. Fried grilled cheese filled with pizza rolls? Yes. Fried cupcakes because it was someone's birthday. Yes.
Thursday I got to go play with my friend's brand new kitties. SO CUTE. They are only 1 lb!!!! They can't even bite or scratch, so they are the cutest things ever. Love. Then I had KP over for Project Runway. A solid Thursday.
Friday - oh Friday was such a good night. It was my officemate's birthday so we spent much of the afternoon eating goodies. Then, my parents came in and we did lots of other nice condo fixes - like building shelves, putting up curtains, redoing the wiring so I don't electrocute myself. All good things. Still a long to do list. Then we went and had a grill night / games birthday party for my officemate and it was a total blast. Bad dancing, bad singing, lots of pong and ending with a fabulous 3 am Denny's adventure. Now granted, it was not good for my body to go to bed at 4 am, but it was totally worth it. One of those nights when your stomach is aching from laughter and you go to bed with a giant smile on your face.
and now I am sitting here scanning. The entire system crashed mid-subject (obviously), so I am just nervously sitting here with my fingers crossed. Tonight I might actually be so lame as to stay home and clean because Megan is coming tomorrow. Yes, that's right, Megan. I'm super exciting.
Quick apologies for how jumpy this email was, scanning is ruining my mind.
It was a semi-productive work week for me, making it the MOST productive week I have had all summer. I am starting to make some strides on my next big study, so that feels exciting that my ideas are not retarded, they fit very nicely with my adviser, and I have some ability to say I I belong here. Might. That being said, my fall term is shaping up to be absolutely crazytown..so I am trying to brace myself now and get done what I can.
Fun stuff this week - Wednesday night I attended the most amazing event ever in the history of amazing - a grilled cheese themed evening with the most absurd and ridiculously delicious things. Fried grilled cheese filled with pizza rolls? Yes. Fried cupcakes because it was someone's birthday. Yes.
Thursday I got to go play with my friend's brand new kitties. SO CUTE. They are only 1 lb!!!! They can't even bite or scratch, so they are the cutest things ever. Love. Then I had KP over for Project Runway. A solid Thursday.
Friday - oh Friday was such a good night. It was my officemate's birthday so we spent much of the afternoon eating goodies. Then, my parents came in and we did lots of other nice condo fixes - like building shelves, putting up curtains, redoing the wiring so I don't electrocute myself. All good things. Still a long to do list. Then we went and had a grill night / games birthday party for my officemate and it was a total blast. Bad dancing, bad singing, lots of pong and ending with a fabulous 3 am Denny's adventure. Now granted, it was not good for my body to go to bed at 4 am, but it was totally worth it. One of those nights when your stomach is aching from laughter and you go to bed with a giant smile on your face.
and now I am sitting here scanning. The entire system crashed mid-subject (obviously), so I am just nervously sitting here with my fingers crossed. Tonight I might actually be so lame as to stay home and clean because Megan is coming tomorrow. Yes, that's right, Megan. I'm super exciting.
Quick apologies for how jumpy this email was, scanning is ruining my mind.
Monday, August 9, 2010
My Awful is Now Impacting Others
So...I was cleaning my desk Friday afternoon and found a lease for a North Park apartment. I thought this was strange, and then realized this was the lease I signed when I moved from one apartment to another in the same complex.
I was reading it over and saw something strange - the lease end date was August 2nd. The lease on the old apartment had been August 15th, and I had assumed they would be the same end dates. You may recall I was illegally subletting my apartment through August 15th.
As it was now 5 days past when I was supposed to be out, and nothing had happened, I decided that it made the most sense to just wait it out. The subletter was going to leave on Friday, so provided they didn't try to move someone in this week, I should be clear, right?
I got an email this afternoon from my subletter which read the following:
"Have you received any emails from Dartmouth about cleaning the apartment? I went in to get my lunch a little bit ago and over the weekend they replaced the carpet and floors in the bathrooms. They removed the toilets in the bathroom to do so and they did not put them back. I obviously can't stay in the apartment with no bathrooms. "
Shit.
I emailed her back and apologized, explained the situation with the two leases, and lied about calling Dartmouth to tell them. I hope THAT doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. (As I typed that, I can almost sense the universe giving me the middle finger).
She is going to move out tonight, so I am going to get the key and give her $150 to hopefully make it right for the week she can't live their and for the extra gas money it will cost her to commute from her parent's house an hour away.
The only good thing is that this semi-solved the riddle of "why haven't I been billed for my apartment since June 2nd?".
Can everyone with good karma keep their fingers crossed that this works out okay?
I was reading it over and saw something strange - the lease end date was August 2nd. The lease on the old apartment had been August 15th, and I had assumed they would be the same end dates. You may recall I was illegally subletting my apartment through August 15th.
As it was now 5 days past when I was supposed to be out, and nothing had happened, I decided that it made the most sense to just wait it out. The subletter was going to leave on Friday, so provided they didn't try to move someone in this week, I should be clear, right?
I got an email this afternoon from my subletter which read the following:
"Have you received any emails from Dartmouth about cleaning the apartment? I went in to get my lunch a little bit ago and over the weekend they replaced the carpet and floors in the bathrooms. They removed the toilets in the bathroom to do so and they did not put them back. I obviously can't stay in the apartment with no bathrooms. "
Shit.
I emailed her back and apologized, explained the situation with the two leases, and lied about calling Dartmouth to tell them. I hope THAT doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. (As I typed that, I can almost sense the universe giving me the middle finger).
She is going to move out tonight, so I am going to get the key and give her $150 to hopefully make it right for the week she can't live their and for the extra gas money it will cost her to commute from her parent's house an hour away.
The only good thing is that this semi-solved the riddle of "why haven't I been billed for my apartment since June 2nd?".
Can everyone with good karma keep their fingers crossed that this works out okay?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Woops - Long Time No Post
means this will be a long post. Sorry Matty ;)
Lab dinner last Monday was quite enjoyable, but I find it hilarious when myself and people I have seen hammered are supposed to be the authority figures at a gathering. Always happy for a free meal at my favorite restaurant though, and most of the RAs in our lab our fantastic and people I like spending time with.
Parents came on Wednesday and my condo just keeps getting more and more awesome. When I am really done I will send out pictures. Either way, I got a sick nasty good price on a really awesome desk and a similarly awesome coffee table/end table set. They are both really nice, interesting pieces that scream grown-up. My dad also fixed up all the fixtures in my bathroom and redid the wiring in my bedroom. At which point he discovered none of the wiring in the condo is legal (meaning the mechanism that switches off a circuit does not work). He's going to redo everything - that sounds neat.
Dominatrix gig on Thursday was fine. I was really dreading going - something like not in the mood to drive and look cute and act interested, but all this furniture buying requires I have more money, so I went. I did have a drink this time (a beer, which I watched him open) which I hope will prevent him from pushing the dinner angle in the future. The routine was pretty similar to last time, though now I am more familiar with the toys and don't really need any coaching from him. The one difference was that I finally agreed to do some anal stuff, and he was a total pussy and couldn't handle it. This was really frustrating because (a) you pressured me into this and now you can't take it, (b) I could tell he was uncomfortable and not enjoying it but when I asked him he would "oh..um...no...it's.....fine?". It's really really important for me to know that he will tell me when things are painful, so this just makes me less comfortable and trusting, and (c) if you are going to request anal you need to um..prepare for it ahead of time? I won't go any further, those of you who understand do not need further information, and I don't want to scare the rest of you who don't get it.
Friday turned into a really fun night. I had drinks on the porch of KP's awesome new townhouse and then a big group of us went out and did Mexican food and tequilla. It was nice because it was only going to be four of us and then it was a big group. FUN! Then a few went and saw Inception which was TOTALLY AMAZING. It was really disorienting to walk into the theater at 9 pm 80 degrees and a little tipsy and walk out at midnight and have it be 49 degrees, no longer tipsy, and questioning my life after watching Inception.
Saturday was also SUPER FUN. I went out and bought an amazing awesome mirror from a thrift store which will officially be the first arts and crafts DIY project I have for my new condo. It is this gorgeous wood framed mirror and the top has this cool wrought-iron style work which perfectly matches my bed frame. So, I am going to paint the mirror and it will be incredible. But more importantly, a nice group of us went up to the VT condo to attend Hops on the Hill with my parents and some of their friends. Perfect 77 degree sunny weather, tons of local brewers, bbq, music - absolutely awesome. We grabbed some dinner in town and headed back to do a bonfire type thing. Lots of laughing, and so awesome to have a moment of recognizing "yes, I have some really good friends here, and we're all together having a good time".
And today, Sunday, I got to sleep in and then I arrived to help set up this lovely event which included a pig roast, a bouncy castle, an inflatable obstacle course, and tons of great beer. It was slightly frustrating to set-up (I with 8 years of catering experience and someone giving me orders who has no clue what he is doing), but it was fun and I had a great time. And now, I'm chillaxing in the basement of the psych building scanning my friend for a study. It sort of sucks, but I think I made huge brownie points by offering to take the last 5 hours of scanning today from my adviser who just got back from a week in the hospital in Jersey with her sick friend. Go Brownie Points! Oh, and tonight we're all boozing at the restaurant that sponsored our softball team.
So now I'm just preparing for this week, which should also have some interesting stories. On Wednesday I am attending some sort of Grilled Cheese event, which obviously will be amazing. I also received 2 of the MOST awkward and ridiculous phone calls this week/weekend from the 22 year old who couldn't find the clitoris. I looked back and I never gave him an official name (or did I?), so let's go ahead and call him The Child. So part of me is actually sort of impressed that he had the balls to contact me after not speaking for about a month, and I am sort of curious to see what he might have learned after a month reading the sex book I gave him. However, he still has that weird medical side-effects issue, and my favorite position is painful for him..so I'm not sure that is a barrier that could be overcome. Either way, I imagine I will meet with him at some point to get my book back, and will make a gametime decision about if I want to try him out again or not. I think most of you reading know there is like..a 2% chance of me turning down sex when it is available, so you can imagine there will be a post soon enough.
Lab dinner last Monday was quite enjoyable, but I find it hilarious when myself and people I have seen hammered are supposed to be the authority figures at a gathering. Always happy for a free meal at my favorite restaurant though, and most of the RAs in our lab our fantastic and people I like spending time with.
Parents came on Wednesday and my condo just keeps getting more and more awesome. When I am really done I will send out pictures. Either way, I got a sick nasty good price on a really awesome desk and a similarly awesome coffee table/end table set. They are both really nice, interesting pieces that scream grown-up. My dad also fixed up all the fixtures in my bathroom and redid the wiring in my bedroom. At which point he discovered none of the wiring in the condo is legal (meaning the mechanism that switches off a circuit does not work). He's going to redo everything - that sounds neat.
Dominatrix gig on Thursday was fine. I was really dreading going - something like not in the mood to drive and look cute and act interested, but all this furniture buying requires I have more money, so I went. I did have a drink this time (a beer, which I watched him open) which I hope will prevent him from pushing the dinner angle in the future. The routine was pretty similar to last time, though now I am more familiar with the toys and don't really need any coaching from him. The one difference was that I finally agreed to do some anal stuff, and he was a total pussy and couldn't handle it. This was really frustrating because (a) you pressured me into this and now you can't take it, (b) I could tell he was uncomfortable and not enjoying it but when I asked him he would "oh..um...no...it's.....fine?". It's really really important for me to know that he will tell me when things are painful, so this just makes me less comfortable and trusting, and (c) if you are going to request anal you need to um..prepare for it ahead of time? I won't go any further, those of you who understand do not need further information, and I don't want to scare the rest of you who don't get it.
Friday turned into a really fun night. I had drinks on the porch of KP's awesome new townhouse and then a big group of us went out and did Mexican food and tequilla. It was nice because it was only going to be four of us and then it was a big group. FUN! Then a few went and saw Inception which was TOTALLY AMAZING. It was really disorienting to walk into the theater at 9 pm 80 degrees and a little tipsy and walk out at midnight and have it be 49 degrees, no longer tipsy, and questioning my life after watching Inception.
Saturday was also SUPER FUN. I went out and bought an amazing awesome mirror from a thrift store which will officially be the first arts and crafts DIY project I have for my new condo. It is this gorgeous wood framed mirror and the top has this cool wrought-iron style work which perfectly matches my bed frame. So, I am going to paint the mirror and it will be incredible. But more importantly, a nice group of us went up to the VT condo to attend Hops on the Hill with my parents and some of their friends. Perfect 77 degree sunny weather, tons of local brewers, bbq, music - absolutely awesome. We grabbed some dinner in town and headed back to do a bonfire type thing. Lots of laughing, and so awesome to have a moment of recognizing "yes, I have some really good friends here, and we're all together having a good time".
And today, Sunday, I got to sleep in and then I arrived to help set up this lovely event which included a pig roast, a bouncy castle, an inflatable obstacle course, and tons of great beer. It was slightly frustrating to set-up (I with 8 years of catering experience and someone giving me orders who has no clue what he is doing), but it was fun and I had a great time. And now, I'm chillaxing in the basement of the psych building scanning my friend for a study. It sort of sucks, but I think I made huge brownie points by offering to take the last 5 hours of scanning today from my adviser who just got back from a week in the hospital in Jersey with her sick friend. Go Brownie Points! Oh, and tonight we're all boozing at the restaurant that sponsored our softball team.
So now I'm just preparing for this week, which should also have some interesting stories. On Wednesday I am attending some sort of Grilled Cheese event, which obviously will be amazing. I also received 2 of the MOST awkward and ridiculous phone calls this week/weekend from the 22 year old who couldn't find the clitoris. I looked back and I never gave him an official name (or did I?), so let's go ahead and call him The Child. So part of me is actually sort of impressed that he had the balls to contact me after not speaking for about a month, and I am sort of curious to see what he might have learned after a month reading the sex book I gave him. However, he still has that weird medical side-effects issue, and my favorite position is painful for him..so I'm not sure that is a barrier that could be overcome. Either way, I imagine I will meet with him at some point to get my book back, and will make a gametime decision about if I want to try him out again or not. I think most of you reading know there is like..a 2% chance of me turning down sex when it is available, so you can imagine there will be a post soon enough.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Beer Olympics!!!!
Or, I suppose I should specify that this was Summer Olympics - we'll probably have another round in September.
This weekend was a mix of awkward, super fun, and hating consequences. I shall discuss:
Friday - it was my friend's birthday, but not really a friend I care to spend much time with (he never really integrated into the friend circles here). He sent out such a tragically sad email asking people to go to dinner with him that I had no choice, but most of my people were moving this weekend, so it ended up being me, my officemate and his roomate (all good people), and then a mix of the people in the department that I purposely choose not the hang out with. Awkward and long dinner. We were supposed to go to the bar afterwards, but we bailed to go check out Beer Olympics costumes.
Saturday - BEER OLYMPICS. It was a really awesome day starting with an afternoon of grilling and then moving into events. Events included an obstacle course (with a slip n' slide), quarters, beirut, blitz, and flip cup. It was a two-person, superhero themed event, so Awkward Jesus and I went as Professor Chaos and General Disarray (South Park characters...look it up...). There are some pretty snazzy pictures of us in costume up on Facebook.
So that all went really well, the party broke up early so I went for a really nice walk in the dark to this giant/beautiful dam with a friend. It was on said walk that I sprained my ankle hardcore, but so be it.
This all sounds good you must be thinking, where are the consequences?!? Fear not my friends.
I got home Saturday night, made a little microwave pizza, watched a movie, and went to bed. TOTALLY SOBER. I woke up 2 hours later and realized I was .2 seconds away from vomiting. Fuck. I just made it to the toilet...and spent the next 3 hours (5 am to 8 am) hugging said toilet and praying for the sweet release of death. It wasn't even the type of vomit where you are like "gosh that sucked but I feel so much better now". No. It was like "how do I feel even more pain after this!". Awful.
So at 8:30 am I tried to go back to bed, realized lying down was out of the question, made my way to the couch. I put on some tv, threw an icepack on my ankle, and told myself I could just sit here all day, and I would somehow make it.
False.
Sunday
I got an email from my adviser around 9 am, basically explaining that she had a family emergency (best friend in serious condition in hospital) and she needed me and my labmate to cover the 12 hour scan session today. Labmate subsequently emailed explaining that her husband is in town (he is a medical resident and isn't home often) and would really appreciate if I could take the majority of the day. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I look at the ice pack on my swollen ankle, realize there is probably vomit in my hair, and can't even fathom throwing on business clothes and getting myself into a mental state where I can run the scanner. But okay, I have no choice, so I get dressed, pop some Tums, wobble to the car and tell myself it will be okay, and that I can just sit in the corner and read a book while they run the show.
Wrong. I was under the impression that the two summer RAs in the lab had run this study before and my being present was only a formality. In reality, they had never run any subjects or used the scanner. And when I said "run any subjects", I don't mean on this particular protocol, I mean ever. It was painful. We got behind 30 minutes on the first subject and from that point I had to be the bitchy one who is telling RAs to "move with a purpose". Oh well, they will be gone soon.
I got through my shift, other labmate took the evening, went home and crashed.
The problem - I'm not sure what I learned? Was it the hours of drinking that got me into this mess, or the microwave pizza?
So that was my weekend. This is going to be a fun week with a lot going on. Lab dinner tonight (minus adviser, which is strange), student council meeting tomorrow, parents coming to help me make condo pretty Wednesday, Dominatrix gig Thursday evening followed by Project Runway party, Inception on Friday, Hops on the Hill with parents and my friends on Saturday, and "How Grad School is Just Like Kindergarten" party on Sunday. Let's do this thing.
Oh yeah, and work, I do that too sometimes.
This weekend was a mix of awkward, super fun, and hating consequences. I shall discuss:
Friday - it was my friend's birthday, but not really a friend I care to spend much time with (he never really integrated into the friend circles here). He sent out such a tragically sad email asking people to go to dinner with him that I had no choice, but most of my people were moving this weekend, so it ended up being me, my officemate and his roomate (all good people), and then a mix of the people in the department that I purposely choose not the hang out with. Awkward and long dinner. We were supposed to go to the bar afterwards, but we bailed to go check out Beer Olympics costumes.
Saturday - BEER OLYMPICS. It was a really awesome day starting with an afternoon of grilling and then moving into events. Events included an obstacle course (with a slip n' slide), quarters, beirut, blitz, and flip cup. It was a two-person, superhero themed event, so Awkward Jesus and I went as Professor Chaos and General Disarray (South Park characters...look it up...). There are some pretty snazzy pictures of us in costume up on Facebook.
So that all went really well, the party broke up early so I went for a really nice walk in the dark to this giant/beautiful dam with a friend. It was on said walk that I sprained my ankle hardcore, but so be it.
This all sounds good you must be thinking, where are the consequences?!? Fear not my friends.
I got home Saturday night, made a little microwave pizza, watched a movie, and went to bed. TOTALLY SOBER. I woke up 2 hours later and realized I was .2 seconds away from vomiting. Fuck. I just made it to the toilet...and spent the next 3 hours (5 am to 8 am) hugging said toilet and praying for the sweet release of death. It wasn't even the type of vomit where you are like "gosh that sucked but I feel so much better now". No. It was like "how do I feel even more pain after this!". Awful.
So at 8:30 am I tried to go back to bed, realized lying down was out of the question, made my way to the couch. I put on some tv, threw an icepack on my ankle, and told myself I could just sit here all day, and I would somehow make it.
False.
Sunday
I got an email from my adviser around 9 am, basically explaining that she had a family emergency (best friend in serious condition in hospital) and she needed me and my labmate to cover the 12 hour scan session today. Labmate subsequently emailed explaining that her husband is in town (he is a medical resident and isn't home often) and would really appreciate if I could take the majority of the day. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I look at the ice pack on my swollen ankle, realize there is probably vomit in my hair, and can't even fathom throwing on business clothes and getting myself into a mental state where I can run the scanner. But okay, I have no choice, so I get dressed, pop some Tums, wobble to the car and tell myself it will be okay, and that I can just sit in the corner and read a book while they run the show.
Wrong. I was under the impression that the two summer RAs in the lab had run this study before and my being present was only a formality. In reality, they had never run any subjects or used the scanner. And when I said "run any subjects", I don't mean on this particular protocol, I mean ever. It was painful. We got behind 30 minutes on the first subject and from that point I had to be the bitchy one who is telling RAs to "move with a purpose". Oh well, they will be gone soon.
I got through my shift, other labmate took the evening, went home and crashed.
The problem - I'm not sure what I learned? Was it the hours of drinking that got me into this mess, or the microwave pizza?
So that was my weekend. This is going to be a fun week with a lot going on. Lab dinner tonight (minus adviser, which is strange), student council meeting tomorrow, parents coming to help me make condo pretty Wednesday, Dominatrix gig Thursday evening followed by Project Runway party, Inception on Friday, Hops on the Hill with parents and my friends on Saturday, and "How Grad School is Just Like Kindergarten" party on Sunday. Let's do this thing.
Oh yeah, and work, I do that too sometimes.
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