A little something for everyone this weekend

This was a pretty solid weekend, with a nice mix of ridiculous stuff, fun stuff, and some work.

So first, I was at my desk Friday doing some work when I got a message on okcupid.com from some chick in Maine. Several emails later, she tells me she is in town for the night, with her boyfriend, and they would love for me to join them in a threesome. I was about 95% convinced, and we texted back and forth, but in the end the guy just had too many tattoos and piercings for me to be into it. Is this me learning? Probably not....but hey, this is my first weekend without sketchy random people in a bit, so good for me.

Friday night my friends wife had a painting at an art gallery, so we all went to that and then did pizza and beer and giggling back at their place. I nice low key evening for a Friday.

Saturday morning I woke up super early (because I am freaking out about writing a manuscript and my brain refuses to shut off), did a bunch of work, and then went with a few friends to a place called Funspot about an hour+ away from Hanover. It has the largest collection of old school video games in...I don't know...the USA, and also functions as an awesome kiddie casino with tons of ridiculous games. I had told my friend that I would go because his friend was in town and he wanted "fun people" to prove that NH can be a good time. So I spent the day in the kiddie casino, we all came back and joined with others for dinner, and then went to our favorite karaoke spot which unfortunately was having a reunion so some terrible local band was playing. Oh well, still fun. Only said point is that these friends I spent Friday and Saturday with our leaving NH for good in a few weeks, and they are really awesome. Lord knows I don't need the awesome people to leave. I need them to stay!

And today, Sunday, I again slept like shit and got up out of frustration so I could spend 9 hours in the office trying to make something out of this manuscript.

Other notes from the weekend that are either amusing or on my mind.

(1) The Klapper actually invited me to NYC for 4th of July. I know, everyone take a moment. He called today to catch-up, we were nearing the end of our conversation, and he was like "oh by the way, I haven't heard back from my friends yet, and I really miss you, so fuck it..would you still be willing to come see me this weekend?". Cute. Definitely. Hopefully we can stand a weekend together?

(2) My knee is back to being fucked up. I'm super annoyed - last thing I need when I'm super stressed about work and getting "you are the stupidest person who has ever lived" feedback from my adviser is an inability to run off the emotions. Also, mildly concerned about how this will impact my week at summer camp. Shit.

(3) WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with me. So the guy from 2 Friday's ago (again, came all over me, I sent blunt email too..I should probably just name him) texted me Friday night to see what I was up to. I was too amused not to respond. I said I was out drinking with my friends, he said he was too, even though he had just said he was home, hungry, and making a grilled cheese sandwich. I never responded to that. He texted me again Saturday night and said "hey, want to meet up tonight". I didn't respond. This morning (at 10:55 am on a Sunday) he emailed me with "COME OVER!". What on earth is going through this mans head?

Also, that guy I went on a date with over a year ago (Was nicknamed Cute Pharmacist, was the guy who picked Bud Light over all other beer options, and told me he liked having balls in his mouth) emailed me on pof.com and said something like "I see you're still on here, want to give me another shot?". NO!

So I think that's probably it Must make it through this week and get a draft done that my adviser doesn't hate so I can enjoy NYC.

Oh Silly Men

Just for the hell of it, here's a little update on the three men from the last posts.

Date # 1 - aka, the guy who doesn't do oral. So Saturday night around 7 pm he texted me to ask if I wanted to meet up for a drink and people watch. Okay, first, it's 7 pm on a Saturday - if I don't have plans for the night yet, I'm probably home eating ice cream and crying. So I responded with "dealbreaker still means dealbreaker". Harsh? Whatever. He said something back like "well maybe it's cheesy, but I think two people can just be friends." I refer to it as something like because there were any number of typos. Whatever. I didn't respond back. I know it's a total double-standard, but I don't think a man who refuses to go down on a woman deserves a response. And yes, for all you gentleman reading, I don't think a girl who refuses deserves your time of day either.

Date # 2 - aka, the guy who came all over me and left me sans orgasm. So he texted me Sunday morning with "hey friend, how was your weekend?". Shudder. I didn't respond. He persists, "you should come over for a little bit tonight." I respond back with "I don't think so." He is understandably confused.

So I sent him the following email:

Hey,

I didn't want to write this much over text, but I wanted to tell you why I am not interested in seeing you again, because I would want someone to do that for me. So, I was honestly shocked that you left my place Friday night without any apparent concern for whether or not I was sexually satisfied. That lack of concern for my needs, in conjunction with you being super late, leads me to think you are maybe a little more selfish than I am willing to deal with.

So, good luck, and I appreciate you getting in touch with me today. Again, you can ignore this, I just would rather someone tell me what happened than me have to wonder about it.

He responded back like "thanks and sorry, I thought you did have an orgasm..guess I was drunk or something".

Such a winner.

The Klapper: aka, the guy who is driving me crazy. I decided not to drive down to join him in Cape Code last weekend (did I write about that? I have no idea? He wanted me to join him on the Cape, which is nice, but a 4 hour drive Saturday and Sunday...nah), and he's been sending me sweet emails all week. Which is obviously driving me crazy. Seriously, the last email was me being very direct about needing to firm up plans if we want to see each other before August, and the first line of his response was "I miss you. You're amazing. And no, I'm not drunk".

Ugh...

So yeah..men are stupid.

Why do I do these things?

This blog might as well be titled "The Sex Addict's Guide to Doing Stupid Shit". Err..maybe not as catchy. Maybe catchier!

So first, I appear so far to have won the bed bug battle. No new bites since getting back from CT, and my condo only slightly looks like a war zone. Solid.

So why can't I have this good of a handle on the men in my life? The dud blind date from last weekend was smart enough not to call me back, so I clearly had to go and have yet another bad blind date with Suitor # 2.

So this guy was supposed to be me breaking out of my mold. He was an artist and very different from most of the guys I would date. He was also incredibly late to our date. He kept pushing back our meeting time and not calling when he was supposed to. I should have said fuck it, but I was wearing a super cute dress and wanted to be seen. So he finally showed up and chatted with me and my friend (who was hanging out with me at the bar while we were waiting for him) and then we actually had a pretty solid date. He was a lot like me and we sort of seemed to see the world in the same way. So it was good. And then he asked me if I wanted to come back to his place..and I said yes because..well I mean..read the first line...because I was hot and ready for some action.

So we're back at his place, fooling around (thank goodness this guy at least does down on girls..and well), but the condom he has is too small, so we go back to my place. And we fool around some more, and we're trying to have sex but it's just...not working with me on top...so he goes on top and finishes in...maybe 35 seconds? Oh, and decides to take off the condom and cum on my stomach instead. And then he says "ohgoshwowi'msotired", and I had already made it clear that staying was not an option, so he got up, and got dressed and left.

Um..hi? Are we 17 again? You do NOT leave a girl without an orgasm! It's amazing to me that this still even happens, and I guess it makes me feel really fortunate for the many many years of sex where guys understood that the "girls come first" rule is law.

Whatever. Won't be seeing him again. And I hope I get to tell him exactly why if he calls this week to see me again.

Sigh..but of course, the night didn't stop there.

So The Klapper sent me an email earlier this week which was completely baffling. I had basically said "hey, how is your training retreat going?" and got back "I miss you, you're amazing, I miss everything about you, when can I see you? Love."

I didn't even know how to respond. I was sort of like "haha..I'm guessing your drunk..I can come see you just as soon as you tell me when you're free."

So we were both on gchat last night at 2 am, and ended up calling each other, and had a totally boyfriend/girlfriend type conversation about missing each other and plans for 4th of July and just being sad about not having the other person around. And he was being so sweet, and it's just so confusing. Like, completely out of the blue he said "Can I just apologize again for how badly I treated you when we started dating? You are so amazing and I didn't appreciate you the way I should have." Um...thanks? Treat me better now?

I guess I just feel sort of trapped in the shitty boyfriend hole. On one hand, maybe he really is coming around and being away from me is making him realize that I might just be a great thing for him, even if it wasn't in his "grand plan" to meet a girl during business school. Maybe. But on the other hand, maybe this is just more of the same lip service he has been peddling since day one. I don't want to be so stupid as to fall for this shit again, but I also don't want to be one of the vindictive bitches who is unwilling to let the past go and realize when someone is changing their ways.

So, let's see how this trip to NYC goes and if he is serious about keeping commitments and making me a priority.

Things I have learned: Even the bottom of a pit can fall out = you can always go deeper

I can honestly say that this is the worst I have felt about almost every aspect of my life in a very long time. This is not going to be a depressing post, I'm feeling pretty energized about all of these things, but I will have to admit that I broke down into tears in a Home Depot this weekend. Let's begin.

Bed bugs: Remember when I said that as long as I passed that exam after Amanda's wedding everything would be okay? Wrong. I brought back bed bugs from Florida. The first 2 nights it was like "huh, is that a bite..eh..I don't know..that may have come from outside..let's not worry". But on the 3rd night, I noticed that I my left leg had essentially tripled in size due to swelling from all the bites. For all of you who have never dealt with this before, consider yourself blessed. For those of you who have, you will understand that your house becomes a war zone, and you must exact swift and relentless vengeance.

So I spent the entire day Saturday and Sunday trying to solve this problem before I headed home to CT (good for free laundry, bad because I don't want to bring them there). I lost a battle with not one, but 2 bug bombs (resulting in me getting a face full of pesticide..I'm sure that's good for me), and was the person at 3 am trying to fit a queen mattress into a bed cover without any help and failing miserably. And then sleeping on the floor because I had completely taken my bed apart and didn't want to sleep in the living room in case the bugs followed me there. There was not a single store in NH that sold a product I was desperately looking for, and I couldn't get an exterminator out until Tuesday. So to sum, I am waging war as best I can..I hope I beat this...it basically ruined my 4 day "break"..I am pissed. Oh right, and it's fucking expensive as shit to deal with. So long second trip to DC this summer.

Friends: I say this ironically. I've been getting weird signs from my friends for a while, but Friday night I finally learned how bad things were. We were all out to dinner on Friday and someone mentioned a graduation party that our friend was throwing on Saturday. I paused "so um..is everyone at this table basically invited but me?". Awkward silence.."Well, I mean..she only invited a few people and then just said to forward or whatever." Err..okay..so that means that not only does this girl not like me, but none of my friends thought to invite me either. That's actually much worse. And confusing, because when we're together everyone laughs at my jokes and we all finish each others' sentences and get along.

So later that night, I asked my friend who I trust what was going on. I told him that I've been getting "rejection-type-stuff" (e.g., not being invited to sit lunch outside), and basically asked if people were talking about me, if there was something I did, etc. He obviously didn't want to get involved (child of divorce), but said that basically I have a very big personality, and in such a small and gossipy group it can rub some people the wrong way.

Well alright..what on earth am I supposed to do about having a big personality? Another friend (not in this group) has suggested that they might be jealous because I am so comfortable being social and confident, but that logic doesn't make sense to me. I would never reject someone because they had a desirable quality that I lacked.

So whatever...it's not like this is news to me that I need a new group of friends, but it is hard to deal with in such a small community. I'm trying though. I can't let this be a reason I don't get a PhD.

Men: OH GOD THE DATE ON SATURDAY. So, I set off a bug fogger before my date, so I knew I had to be gone at least 2 hours..probably not the best. So we meet up and, although he is attractive, he is dumb as shit. The type of conversation where he tells me the name of everyone at his company, and everything about his boring and pointless life, but never asks me a question or realizes that maybe I don't care about the guy who used to work at his company but doesn't anymore. Just like..stupid, pointless conversation from someone who has never done anything interesting in their life.

But wait..I can't go home. So we do this. And at some point we went back to my place so I could open up windows and turn on fans..but bars were closed..so we went back to his place. And by this point I was thinking "well, he's dumb as shit, but he's 6'4" and probably packing heat, so why not get some sex out of this." So we are on his couch in the living room. He doesn't have a bed yet, and there are no curtain on the windows, and his roommate could come home at any time. We quickly move to some aggressive making out and groping and soon enough we are stretched out naked on the couch. We're in such a position that it almost seems like he is trying to have sex with me without a condom, so I tell him that's not cool and to go find a damn condom. So he comes back, we're trying to get back in the mood, and he...god...he shoves his thumb inside of me. WHAT?!? This does not feel good. And at some point he's like...kind of flicking the outside of my vagina with his tongue. But not really.

So I'm clearly not into it and he asks what I want him to do. I said "go down on me". And he said..yeah..I don't really do that..it just..it tastes salty and I just don't like doing it. WHAT?!? So he explains that none of his other girlfriend have ever wanted him too and they just want to get down to business. I take this opportunity to inform him that they probably faked their orgasms then.

So..we're laying there. And..I'm sort of..stunned, and trying to regroup. And I just said "ya know what, this is a dealbreaker for me". And now he's stunned. And he tries to get me back into things, and I said "no, seriously, this is a dealbreaker..I'm going to get dressed."

So then, since he knows I'm a dom, he begs me to climb on his face and just force him to do it. Ugh..nothing could be less appealing that making someone give you oral sex who doesn't like doing it.

So I have an awkward tug of war with my clothes and him, I eventually leave..he walks me to my car and begs me to give him another try. I will obviously not be talking to him again. I told him I have no interest in teaching yet another guy where the clitoris is.

So yeah..this is my life. PhD is going..smeh, and I'm not getting done with things as quickly or as well as I need to be. The men here don't do oral. My sanctuary is infested with things that suck my blood. And I have no friends.

Win.

But seriously, I am motivated to start getting papers out, to meet the right guy, to kill these stupid motherfuckers, and to find new friends who understand me. I got this.

Note: While writing this I actually confronted KP about some of this stuff. No real resolution, but at least it's out there.

Done! = DATING

So first, I am officially done with my 2nd year of graduate school. Woot. Presentation on Tuesday went really well, all the crap for this neuroanatomy class got done, and I took that final at 8 am this morning only needing to get 14% correct to pass the course. I think I'm good. So yeah, 2nd year was...harder than the first..but it's done. Apparently the whole faculty are unhappy with the productivity of the grad program right now, so there will be a talking to later this week..but for now..I'm taking my first real break since December.

That's right, going home to CT from Sunday to Wednesday. Awesome.

So you are likely thinking "um..hello, I only clicked on this because it said dating in the title..get to it". Here's what's up.

The Klapper: gchatted me today, which was sort of shocking given his valiant efforts to keep me out of any part of his life that wasn't directly under his control. Weird. Too little too late though..he still hasn't told me anything about trying to get together over this summer. And we're not "exclusive". So..let's play.

Suitor # 1: I'm starting with this guy first because it is the easiest to explain. Met him through okcupid.com, he definitely does not seem to be my type, but I think I should give the guy a chance. He's 28, looks pretty cute, and just moved from MA to take over working as a digital asset manager for the performing arts/art museum here at Dartmouth. I tend not to really "fit" with artistic types (okay, musicians yes, not artists) but he just moved to the area and I know how much that can suck. He also seems a little shy/reserved. Again, we'll see. So..we have a date semi-planned for next weekend. Will keep you posted.

Suitor # 2: Oh boy. Another okcupid.com set-up and we are meeting tomorrow (Saturday) for drinks and dinner. He looks pretty cute from his pictures and was pretty funny and amusing over emails and chats BUT I found out a few of my friends know him and the reaction was....mixed. My oblivious guy friend said "oh yeah, he's fine, nice guy". My girl friend was like "um.....have I told you the story about him peeing on someone's car because he was mad at them?" (to be fair, he offered up this story without prodding when I mentioned I knew her). She thinks he's a little "off" and maybe even a touch "creepy", and after the chats I think there could be some truth to that. She's a pretty conservative girl though, and someone who doesn't necessarily appreciate humor like I do. So I think for the sake of this blog and getting out there, I definitely need to go on this date.

To give you a preview, we were chatting today about tomorrow nights plans and the following transpired.

Him: So can I ask you a question?

Me: That is never good. Go ahead.

Him: So I noticed in your questions section you said you would sleep with a guy after 1 or 2 dates? (READER NOTE: okcupid.com has you fill out questions and you answer with your response and what you would accept from other people as responses).

Me: Yup.

Him: So..I'm more of a 4-5 date kinda guy. Just..putting it out there ;)

Me: That's fine, I will respect that, but are YOU okay with the fact that I'm a 1-2 date kinda girl?

Him: Yeah it's fine, and I don't like driving drunk so we can cuddle up in bed.

Me: Err...so this is already a mismatch. I'm a 1-2 date sleep with a guy person, but I'm a 6+ date let them stay over type girl.

Him: That happens?

Me: Oh yeah. Big time.


***We resolved things, but it's funny that (1) he would even ask that and (2) I mean..this is just gonna be ridiculous. I can already tell.

Sidenote: I got a random okcupid email from a guy today that said "Hi, I came across you earlier today and you look great. I'm really great at giving oral. Any interest?".

I think the normal response would be to delete it.

I instead took the opportunity to ask (completely seriously) what it is about my profile that made him think I might be the type of girl who would say yes to that. Oh, and I asked for a picture ;)

This is why I'm shouldn't be allowed around people.

I'm in your dreams!

Heh, just a little story that made me giggle today.

My friend was driving back from Missouri with his wife, and they were both completely exhausted and try to keep each other awake at the wheel.

Over the final leg of the trip, he was driving and she was falling in and out of sleep but trying to maintain a conversation. At one point, she was having a conversation with me about how it wasn't a good idea for me to jump into a pool.

I have to giggle at this - even in OTHER people's dreams I'm getting into trouble.

Some men just don't get it

So, among many of the Craigslist-related emails I exchanged, I responded to a nice enough sounding guy who was 27, lived by me, and was looking for someone in the area to date. Normal enough. I responded to an email and then stupid gmail let him send me a gchat.

I think this is a little forward after an email or two, but..whatever..I saw no reason not to humor him. We had a normal enough conversation for a few moments..everything was going fine..I was even serious about chatting more later or meeting up for drinks...and then he HAD to go get weird. I guess I'm glad he did become a weirdo before I tried to meet him or something. See below.


Unknown: Hello

me: hi

Unknown: How are you doing?

me: okay, doing a little studying, you?

Unknown: I'm fine...shall I let you be? I don't want to distract you

me: well...I should probably get back to it in a moment or two any chance you have a pic to send along?

Unknown: I do, one sec

Sent

You're really cute, by the way

me: lol, what a random photo (who is in the back of the car?). And thank you

Unknown: Haha, I know...I was pulling out of a parking space, and my sister snapped a picture by surprise. I managed to look non-ridiculous in a picture for once, so I kept it

me: yeah i find the spontaneous ones are really the only ones that look good

Unknown: Oh, I don't know, I think you look pretty good in those pictures :)

me: haha..thanks. So refresh me again, how old are you?

Unknown: 28

me: you look really young for 28! Whatever you're doing, keep doing it

Unknown: Hahaha, thanks. I get that a lot...I'll probably do a Dick Clark and age 50 years overnight at some point. I'll wake up one day and look like a fossil

me: hah, so you're an engineer?

Unknown: I am

me: were you also in the army, i'm always confused how these things work

Unknown: No, I'm a civilian employee of the Army. Almost no one at our lab is actual military, it's by far mostly civilians

me: did you grow up in the area then? I'm always curious what would bring someone to the area if they didnt already live here

Unknown: Hahahaha. No, I'm originally from Maryland. I like it here so far, I've only been here a few months. But yes, I don't think I'll remain here permanently..

me: haha..same. I came from D.C. and this place is a huge change. Anyway, I really do need to get this work done, but I'd like to chat more or maybe grab a drink sometime

*it's finals week for me..so I'm trying to put in the final push

Unknown: But of course...good luck with your work, I hope we can talk again soon. By the way, I'm James, or Jim, whichever you prefer

me: haha..your name isn't really Unknown ;). Well that's a shame

Unknown: No, though I'm willing to change it if that turns you on

me: ha, I think James or Jim will be just fine

Unknown: As you wish :)

me: talk to you soon

Unknown: Oh, before you go, I wanted to ask you something

me: yes

Unknown: It's fairly personal, you may not want to answer (or talk to me again)

me: ha, just go for it

Unknown: Okay,Some guys are leg men, some guys are butt men...I'm a breast man all the way...and judging from that first picture, it looks like yours are especially nice...so I was just wondering what size they are

me: they are D's

Unknown: Wow, really? Marry me

me: They are amazing and i am very proud of them

Unknown: They look it

At the risk of being even more inappropriate, I would love to get my hands on them

me: most men would, we'll see how it goes

Unknown: I don't doubt it...damn

me: alright, im off to study

Unknown: Don't work too hard :)


***So he sent me a few more creepy emails "would love to see more pictures!", and tried to gchat me again, at which point I said "you are a total creeper, but thanks for letting me know that upfront." Oh men..so very crazy.

Why does this always happen?

It feels like the more I am burned out by work, the more I put time into stupid things like online dating (instead of work)....or blogging ;)

So this weekend was a mix of many things. I spent a lot of time responding to and posting Craigslist ads (but mine kept getting flagged as spam..it's just me trying to get a date!), and searching on pof.com, and I even signed up for okcupid.com to see if there might be some new people on that. I've got some ridiculous responses and maybe a few new guys in the works. Will keep you updated.

Oh right, and The Klapper. We both were guilty of some drunk dials and drunk texts this weekend. We chatted for a bit on Sunday morning and are starting to slowly make plans to see each other this summer. He wants me to stop by on my way to or from camp, but I instantly vetoed that plan for TONS of reasons. So we'll see.

So Friday night was a shit show - just not for me. My old adviser hosted a party for the whole department and all the faculty got completely hammered. He gave a great drunken toast to the PhD student graduating this year, and by the end of the night I was passing my 3rd bottle of champagne back and forth with another faculty member while we all giggled. Oh right, and my current boss got HAMMERED. Like, fell down and into the bushes multiple times.

She insisted on driving, which meant that 6 of us had to do everything we could to prevent this. We managed to arrange for all of us to go to The Cave (cave-themed karaoke and dance club bar), but someone else started projectile vomiting, so it ended up being me, my friend, and my boss at the bar while everyone else took the other friend home. So my boss was drunk and dancing alone, and it wasn't exactly awkward but it wasn't really what I would have wanted to be doing. Luckily she had a few acquaintances at the bar and I found some dude who was 3rd wheeling on his friend's first date to entertain me. Eventually it was last call, and the 5 of us FINALLY convinced her to let us drive her car home.

She obviously sent a rather sheepish email the next day saying thanks. It's all good, but she also told my friend on the drive home how unhappy she is at Dartmouth, and how she doesn't really want to do research anymore and wants to teach and move out of New England. This isn't shocking to me, but basically confirms my fear that I am going to have to think of some back-up plans for when she either doesn't get tenure or decides to apply somewhere else. Does it ever get easy?

And Saturday I did nothing. Stayed in to do work, trying to eat well and workout and get sleep so I can get through this last week of finals and then take a much needed break in CT.

Oh, and last thing I am excited about is that I might have a super perfect job lined up for this summer. A babysitting gig, 1 time a week for 3 hours, for a 6 and 8 year old while their stay-at-home mom runs errands and gets some time to herself. Not sure on pay yet, but I figure an extra $45 or $60 a week, to do something I love anyway (paid to play soccer and bake cookies..yes please!) has to be a win. They also talked about an occasional week or weekend night so they could have some time off, and that would let me save money and make money while I can do my work. Win Win Win. Hopefully this all falls into place, and since my old boss agreed to give me $100 to cover some of the travel costs to DC this summer, I can use all my babysitting money to get the FUCK out of Hanover and see people in DC, NY, Boston, etc.

Okay, that's all. Thank you for reading my ramblings while I avoid doing work.

To quote Amanda: "You're on a roll"

No, not at achieving in life, but at telling people off in a socially appropriate and respectful way. Last week it was The Klapper, and this week it is.....my adviser. Finally!

So she emails me this morning like "Woops, forgot to have your annual evaluation meeting, can you meet now?" Um..no..I am in class, but thanks for the notice so I can prepare.

So we met after class and the evaluation went about how I expected. There are a lot of things I am disappointed about with my progress this year (no manuscript, no data collection, no departmental presentations), but I have been working my ass off on everything else under the sun, so nothing about my evaluation was surprising or unfair. Also, my adviser (in writing) admitted that many of my productivity issues related to an unruly data set or her not doing the things she needed to do to help me along. So that was nice.

So we are going through the written evaluation and the checklist, and she was like "I gave you an excellent on accepts feedback and critiques from adviser, because I think we are doing really well with that and my feedback style seems to be working because you are very responsive to my comments."

So I smirk..because all of you readers have watched me write about how I have developed a nasty cocaine habit (kidding) in order to deal with the verbal whippings and personal attacks that she includes in every correction she makes on my work. Awful. So she sees this and is like "um..comment?", so I suggested we get through my evaluation and we'll chat at the end.

So we get to the end, and in a completely professional and productive manner, I conveyed to her ALL of the issues I have had over this past year. The lag time between me giving her things to read and her feedback (which often never comes). The fact that she was basically a zombie at all of our meetings this year and didn't have the "mental energy" to listen to any of my issues or think about things. The fact that I would have to piecemeal show her data over the course of several months before she would finally sit down and just look at all the data together. And finally, the fact that her feedback would leave me crippled and disabled for hours, and cause me to put off sending revisions back to her because it would mean waking up in the morning with absolute dread.

She was more receptive to some critiques than others, but I know it all got through. Some of the things she knows she needs to change, some was a surprise, but all of it we agreed to work on and monitor how things are going. No matter what, at least I can now say I've brought it to her attention and tried to do what I need to get through this program and be the most productive and happy PhD student I can be.

Solid.